Shameless Self-Promotion

Check out my other blog for a list of great summer reading!!

I am Alone

All 3 kids are in camp this morning! 9a-1pm M,W, and F. of this week they are in a day camp at our temple. I seriously can't decide what to do with myself.

Do I go get a mani/pedi, go shopping, drive home and masturbate with my bedroom door wide open? Nope. The first thing I did was finish filling out their paperwork, because of course I can't leave them there without it, and I hadn't done it yet. I am a master procrastinator. That took me a fucking hour and 15 minutes! Is this day camp or the secret service. Damn!

Jake cried when I left but he's in good hands, and Mike and Bekah were consoling him. I felt a twinge of sadness but it was fleeting. As soon as I saw the Starbucks sign I was over it. Now I am sitting here with my laptop, a quad shot non-fat mocha, a 1/2 eaten banana and I still don't know what the hell to do with myself.

I guess I will start with some blogging and schedule them to be posted periodically throughout the summer. You probably figured out that I gave up on my Weekly Weight Watchers recipes. Commitment is a challenge for me, probably why I didn't get married until I was 32 years old. I will post a recipe here and there, especially since I would really like to lose at least 5 more pounds before my 20 year high school reunion August 29th. But the weekly thing was an idea suited for somebody way more organized than I am.

Wednesday I do have an appointment and during this free time maybe I will go see the dentist and get my hair colored. That's not frivolity, the gray is coming in with vengenance. I believe I shall go as blonde as my eyebrows will let me. Why not?

I want to have fun and enjoy myself but I feel the need to balance this alone time with some real errands or work since my poor husband is slaving away at the moment.

Speaking of my husband we had a fight last week. We never fight. We snap at each other now and then, because we get tired and irritable but that's about it. Last week I was gently informing him that since my brother is getting married in September there are a bridal shower and a bacherlorette party on the books and I need his call schedule so I can figure out which one to go to. Of course I am leaning towards the bacherlorette party since that will be more fun. Well you think that I had asked him to serve me his balls on a platter.

He got all quiet and pouty looking and I asked him, "Are you pouting?". And he said, "A little." And I asked, "Why?". And he said, "Because you just got back from a bacherlorette weekend and left me with the kids.". "Well honey you are welcome to have a weekend alone with your guy friends too. You can go on that ski weekend with the guys from the hospital this year. As long as you stay away from the bad, slutty husbands.".

That didn't seem to cheer him up. And a few minutes later he said, "You can only go to one event! I am putting my foot down! You are only allowed to go to one event!".

At first I wanted to laugh hysterically! Then I realized he was serious. Dark anger washed over me, I had to take deep breaths, I was standing next to a block of knives, my hands were slippery from washing dishes, this could get very ugly.

Of course I was only planning to go to one event, not both. I may be a lot of things but I am not unfair. I wouldn't like it if he left me alone multiple weekends to party with his friends and family. Having kids is about sacrifice and I don't expect to have the carefree social life I used to lead. But I wasn't going to tell him that now, he pissed me off! And this wasn't drinking with my girlfriends, these are wedding events, for family, my brother!!!

I have come a long way baby when it comes to my anger management. I resisted the urge to yell and throw stuff and swear and call names. Well almost. I said, "What are you a fucking Promise Keeper?!". You know those right-wing Christian men that promise to uphold their marriage vows but really just boss their wives around? Erik said, "What?!" I said through clenched teeth, "You can't put your foot down and tell me what to do. What if this was your family member getting married? Do you think I wouldn't let you go?!." Then it deteriorated into the age old he works and I stay home and eat Bons Bons fight. Nice.

I walked away from that and went back to my Bons Bons, and dishes and kitchen floor and yelling at the kids. Then we both calmed down.

I sat on his lap and he apologized and said he was just really tired and he didn't mean to say that. And I said, "Honey I was only going to go to one event anyways, I am not an asshole. And you can go out and party with your buddies anytime, seriously, I owe you." . So we made up and it's all good!

I just didn't want you to think my life was perfect.

Del Mar High School's 20 Year Reunion, Pre-Party

I am behind in my blogging but I have been having a great summer! Last week I was without a decent laptop because one of my sons gnawed through the wire on AC adaptor. So while I waited for that to be delivered I dragged out an old laptop from our ewaste pile and, well, it was TORTURE!

I had a mini high school reunion last weekend at a friend's house in Watsonville. We were having this pre-party because 2 of my friends live out of the country and won't be here for the real reunion in August. Kellie lives in Honduras and Jen lives in Australia. So our friend Julie opened up her home to us. It was perfect! Especially since her kids are 16 and 17 years old and the rest of us have toddlers.

Julie told me that I would be sleeping in a trailer with my 3 kids (my husband was on-call that weekend) but it was more like a cabin. It was so cute with a woodburning stove and wingback chairs. There was a kitchen, bathroom and a queen and a double bed. I took the double bed, and gave Mike and Bekah the queen. Jake was in his porta-crib but Jake and Bekah eventually all ended up in my sleeping bag with me squished in the middle.


Julie set up her music room downstairs, with window paints, toys, stuff to color with and play-dough. That's Kellie on the left, Jen on the right standing with the cocktail and Linda sitting down.

I have known Kellie and Linda since I was 9 years old, I met Julie in Jr. High and Jen in high school. Jen looks exactly the same, beautiful. Me and Linda tend to drink more beer than others.

Jen's daughter made this nice poem about Margaritas, hilarious!

Kellie was opening some red window paint for her daughter and accidentally poured it on Jake's head. As you can see she was more concerned than he was.

Linda's son. Freaking Cutest Boy!!!! I would die for his eyelashes. Him and my Bekah hit it off immediately. We need to get them together for a playdate and drink ourselves some beers.

Bekah and Jake enjoying the trampoline. Remember when we went camping and Jake was throwing rocks in the creek for Henry the rock fetching dog? Well Julie owns 4 goats and Jake was trying to throw rocks into their pen to make them fetch them. He was laughing and I was apologizing.

Awesome view.

This is Julie and she is not only pretty and a gracious hostess but she made these crepes at midnight that kicked ass.

Jake had too many margaritas. Just kidding. I wish my kitchen floor looked that clean.

7 kids and 2 teenagers and no meltdowns! We lucked out! They were perfect angels.

Towards the end of the night I was feeling as fuzzy as this picture.

I didn't bother going straight home from Julie's the next morning. I left the nice cool weather of the coast and headed home to the Alameda County Fair where it was a 103 degrees. I have a wagon with a canopy that I can load all 3 kids into and we drank a gallon of lemonade each. I had sweat dripping off my chin, gross. But we had fun and it was the last day so I felt obligated to go. Mike is in the yellow t-shirt onstage with this silly band and Bekah is in the red t-shirt playing that tin can.

The real 20 year high school reunion is August 29th but it won't be as much fun as we had at Julie's house.

Summer is for Re-runs

The post below was originally written in Janurary of 2008. I am posting re-runs because it's summer and I am a lazy ass.
Enjoy!

Be Back Soon!

Sorry I haven't been around lately! Went to the beach and the boardwalk in Santa Cruz ealier this week and now we are taking off for the coast again today. Just me and my 3 since Erik is on-call all weekend. I will have pictures and posts galore when I come back. I miss my blogging buddies.

In the meantime wish me luck dealing with my 3 year old. Her whining is making my ears bleed.

My Lazy Ass Weekend

Yesterday I did not shower or wear a bra all day. I was so lazy it was ridiculous. And today doesn't look much more productive.

Friday night I went to a sex toys party at Auntie M's and that was a blast. In fact it was sooo much fun my husband let me sleep in until 10am! I was hanging a little.

At 10:30am Saint Sarah, my kids' babysitter, picked up Michael for the day. On her own time and money she took him to the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco for his birthday gift. I offered her money but she wouldn't take it! Sarah also bought him lunch, a t-shirt, a toy and toys for Jake and Bekah. Can you understand why I call her a Saint? And no you can't have her phone number, she's mine, all mine!

Then my dear husband woke up from his nap and took Bekah to the gym with him and I put Jake down for a nap and slithered back into bed for another hour. LAZY!

I did manage to do some laundry, dishes and housecleaning and I took a picture of this cute faun below. But the majority of Saturday my ass was planted firmly on my couch with my laptop open. And I discovered the addictive properties of twitter. At first I just didn't get the concept, I update my status on Facebook all of the time why would I need twitter? But the whole Iran revolution thing got me hooked, and now I am finding all kinds of interesting characters out there. In fact I guess I was hungover enough yesterday to be gullible enough to think this guy was real. His stage name is Billy Bob Neck and he posted a petition on twitter for fetal consent to abortion. WTF?! It was so obviously a joke but I was moving so slow yesterday I thought it was for real. I actually sent him an outraged twitter. He is actually a comedian, and Billy Bob Neck is his character. How embarassing that I didn't figure it out right away.

So after we put the kids to bed I made an awesome steak and potato salad with a horseradish and red wine vineagrette. Erik and I drank 2 bottles of champagne and watched Jack Ass 2 (the movie). Being married to your best friend is, well, it's the best!!

This morning started off with Erik dragging both Bekah and Jake into our bed at 6am. Then he promptly fell back asleep and started snoring while they tortured me. So I kicked them all out of bed and slept until 8:45am. I relieved Erik so he could nap and I downed a pot of coffee and once again wasted time on the internet. After the caffiene kicked in I did manage to some more housecleaning and cooked everyone lunch. The steak and potatoes from last night scrambled up with some eggs, cheese, broccoli and red bell pepper made an awesome lunch.

I put Jake down for a nap, I showered and Erik took Mike and Bekah to the park to hang out with some of their buddies. I was holding the broom in my hand when they walked out the door but as soon as I heard the garage door close............well here I am again. Loser!

In my defense next week is going to be insanely busy:

Monday= Gym and swimming.

Tuesday= Going overnight to Santa Cruz with my monkeys, Auntie M, the cousins and crashing at a room my mom is renting for the week. That should be fun but exhausting. When my boys are around even a puddle of water they lose their minds, so the Pacific Ocean should be exciting for them. Bekah is a little more refined.

Wednesday= Recovery

Thursday= After the kids' morning music class, I have Saint Sarah all day. Grocery shopping, paying bills, filing, and if Erik is not on-call I would love to take him out to an early dinner date.

Friday= Single motherhood for me the entire weekend! Erik is scheduled to be on-call, which means he will be at the hospital most of the time.

Saturday=Going back to the Santa Cruz area for a mini high school reunion. I have a friend home from Australia and a friend home from Honduras and we are all meeting up at another friend's farm in Monterey. We are all bringing our small kids, doing bbq and potluck,playing music, and some clothing optional hot tubbing. We are spending the night too so nobody has to drive after beer and margaritas. My husband is very sad that he has to work both Tuesday and next weekend, these are his kind of events.

Sunday=Recovery.

So next week's busy schedule is my excuse for this weekend's extreme laziness. I did manage to shower today, but I am still not wearing a bra!

I am truly torn. I loved Michael Jackson's music and Thriller was the first album I bought with my own money. Money I earned babysitting. But I just can't ignore the strong chance that Michael Jackson was a pedophile who molested children.

I know he was acquitted in a court of law, but acquitted does not mean innocent. You just can't ignore 10 counts of felony child abuse.

Having said all that, I am putting aside my feelings of disgust aside for 1 day. One day to honor, not him as a sick grown man, but to honor him as the young and extraordinarily talented child.

For just one day I am going to ignore the outrage I feel about our cash-strapped state having to pay roughly $4million for the security and structure of this funeral.

I am going to set my Tivo before I go to the gym, and run errands. Considering the celebrity line-up that is being rumored to attend , and perform, his funeral should provide me some great t.v. to watch while I fold laundry. Let's see; Mariah Carey, John Mayer, Stevie Wonder, Jennifer Hudson and possibly Queen Latifah. Maybe some Jackson siblings will sing or speak. Maybe some other celebrities will perform or speak.

A loose itinerary is listed below, but I am watching MSNBC right now, and it looks like they are already running an hour behind.

Schedule of events:
(All times Pacific)
8:00 a.m. - Doors to the Staples Center open.
9:00 a.m. - Live feed from outside the Staples Center begins.
9:30 a.m. - Live shots of celebrity arrivals.
10:30 a.m. - Ceremony begins with live coverage on five different TV networks.
1:00 p.m. - Live coverage of memorial scheduled to end.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson, the young boy.

An Award from Unknown Mami

I'm baaack! I had a fabulous time partying my butt off at a bacherlorette party and I am back to a kid getting over the croup, a kid with a 101. 6 degree fever and a filthy house. But I am filled with a renewed vigor to be an awesome mommy and wife. I highly reccomend to others to get out of town once in awhile, it's a great attitude adjustment.

Unknown Mami was one of my guest bloggers on N.E.O. Moms while I was gone. If you haven't read any of those posts, you really should, fascinating stuff. And I will be posting debauchery details today, don't worry I will give you a heads up as soon as I do.

Mami gave me an award where I get to post 10 true things about myself and then tag 5 other bloggers to do the same. Her list reminded me of some things about myself, so it is similar to her's. OK here goes:

1. I rode the Greyhound bus, with my younger brother Bill, every other weekend from San Jose to Sacramento to see my Dad. This went on for a couple of years. It sucked.

2. I found out the Easter Bunny doesn't exist when he stepped on my neck. I was sleeping on my Dad's girlfriend's daughter's bedroom floor and my Dad came in to deliver Easter Baskets dressed only in his underwear. He didn't see me and started to step on my neck and stopped himself as I woke up. That was a scary thing to wake up to.

3. I have an extra vertebrae in my neck.

4. I am almost impervious to cold. I have swam in a lake rimmed with ice.

5. I used to not want to have kids at all. Now I have 3. I am glad I changed my mind.

6. I am left-handed which is good because I am gradually losing feeling in my right hand. I injured it years ago while taking down an emotionally disturbed teenage girl. Loss of feeling doesn't bother me, it's the loss of dexterity that sucks.

7. When I was 19 years old I could leg press 250 pounds. Recently I pressed my weight, 145 pounds, and was very sore that night and the next day!!

8. I smoked for 18 years and was a vegetarian for 2 years.

9. All 3 of my kids will refuse to hold hands with me 95% of the time.

10. Me, my Dad and my brother Bill have had the same exact dreams, sometimes on the same night. When my father dreams of somebody dying, they die.

11. So many members of my Dad's family have died in October that he was nervous about me getting married in October. I just told him that I was breaking the chain. Erik and I got married during The High Holy Days (Jewish Calendar) which was taboo.

Sorry that was 11 but you only have to do 10 if I tag you.

Tag you're it! The Claw, Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder (fucking great name!), Pop Champagne, Meghan, and Daphne.

Going On a Vacation

Hey everyone,
I am taking off to get wild and crazy for a few days for a bacherlorette weekend. Please visit my other blog while I am gone because I have asked some fascinating moms and one dad to guest blog while I am out of town. Remember to check N.E.O. Moms . Everyday so as not miss any guest posts. And check out their blogs as well.
Thanks,
Charlotte

My Purse

I have been tagged by my friend Meghan at The Good Stuff to display the contents of my purse. Warning she has music on her blog so turn down your volume if the kids are sleeping.

She is an awesome mommy of one monkey and another monkey on the way. She is a career woman, homeowner, beer drinking buddy and she isn't even 30 yet!!! She totally amazes me.

Feel free to do this as well on your blog and leave a link or leave it in the comments section.

Here goes:
First of all my purse is a Frauda. Fake Prada and cute.
-2 empty bags of Lorna Doone 100 calorie cookies.
-a book The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee, using Jewish teachings to raise self-reliant children. I will tell you how it is when I finish it.
-2 Father's Day cards because we already celebrated it and the cards ended up in my purse after my husband opened them.
-Gymboree receipt with gym bucks
-the ripped off top of a box of Loreal hair color to show my hairdresser what I wanted. She failed.
-P.F. Chang's receipt
-envelope with grocery list and address written on it
-empty sandwich bag
-fake Coach wristlet wallet stuffed with credit cards all ready to burst into flames, very little cash and some change.
-ticketmaster receipt for Chelsea Handler
-Barbie cell phone
-coupon for Tyson chicken nuggets
-20% off and a $15 off coupon for Macy's
-Revlon lipgloss Shine That Pink
-pen from drug company
-another grocery list
-used kleenex from Mike's pre-K graduation
-Swarszki (sp?) crystal nile file, a gift from my grandmother-in-law
-a sock
-box of Sucrets
-coupon for Cheerios
-a gift card for a spa pedicure from my birthday in Dec. which I will use next week
-box of Altoids
-plastic eyeball
-3 Hotwheels cars
-a 5 star progress card for Mike
-orange Play-doh
-2 mini Snickers bar which I am going to eat right now
-4 more pens from drug companies
-old stamps
-bobby pin
-purple Rimmel nail polish
-Chapstick
-Eucerin lotion


Jeez what a mess!

Mornings and Super Cat

This is how we wake up every morning. It's not the same every day but it's always some kind of drama and huge mess. Every fucking morning. If you have known me longer than 1 month you know I am violently opposed to mornings. To wake up to some kind of disaster every damn morning is just G-d laughing her ass off at me. This is my 2 year old Jake. He has taken the wastebasket in our master bedroom and turned it upside down. And that was just the beginning. Jake then managed to shred and tear apart and roll in all the papers that had been in the wastebasket. I do mean roll, like a dog rolling on a dead skunk. He also incorporated some previously clean, and folded laundry, and bed pillows in his mayhem.

But that's not even the blog worthy part of this story.

My 3 year old Bekah has a stuffed kitty, Oscar-Garfield. Actually his full name is Oscar-Garfield Super Flying Cat of The World, and 2 weeks ago he went missing! Any parent who has a toddler with a beloved toy or blankie knows this is bad news.

I LOOKED EVERYWHERE!!!!!!! Until I gave up and ordered another 2007 limited edition Webkinz black Halloween cat on Amazon.com. The new Oscar-Garfield showed up on Tuesday and everyone was happy, yay!!

Can you see where this is going? So we wake up Wednesday morning to Jake thrashing our bedroom and after I took pictures of this epic mess, I started shoving the papers into a garbage bag and guess what I found tucked way back behind our router? Oscar-Garfield Super Flying Cat of The World, The First.

Seriously? I recovered my shock and say,
"Look Bekah now you have 2 boys just like mommy!".

"No! I don't want him! I only want the new kitty! ". Dude, harsh.

"But Bekah he missed you and he has been lost for a long time." And then of course I start pretending like I am a kitty and talking to her and telling her how much I missed her, "..my mommy Bekah", etc. etc.

"No I don't want him!". Then my 4 year old Mike busts out with the quote of the day, "Family is family Bekah.". My husband and I are cracking up now.

Then Mike says, " I will take him.", and starts wrestling with him. Of course that made up Bekah's mind real fast! No way will she let her stinky brother have one of her Oscar-Garfields.





That was yesterday, today is Thursday. This morning's drama was Bekah getting a hold of a porcelain figurine and giving it to Jake, who smashed it on the bathroom floor. Nobody was hurt. I actually heard G-d laughing as I scrambled around naked, cleaning up broken glass.

Strangers Like Me Too

Hey guess what? Not just my friends and family like me, but somebody I have never met before. And she wants me to be a guest blogger at her blog on Friday and Saturday, while she takes a vacation with her man and her boys. Her name is Sherri over at The Claw. So please support me, Sherri, and her 2 other guest bloggers, Amy and blondie-lox. I have no link to blondie-lox because her blog is private, but she will go public on Sherri's blog.

I hope I will do The Claw justice, and even if I don't leave comments over there saying that I am fabulous.

Getting Militant Again

I have been fired up this last week. First gay rights, now a woman's right to choose is in the headlines. I wrote about my feelings on my other blog. Check it out!

New Post on my other blog N.E.O. Moms

I wrote something you may find interesting on my other blog N.E.O. Moms.

Have a great weekend,
Charlotte

Superstition and Garden Statues

I have a confession to make, I am really superstitious. Some things don't bother me like spilled salt and broken mirrors. I don't go out of my way to spill salt or break a mirror but it doesn't cause me anxiety. The superstitions that get my heart beating sound ridiculous when I say them outloud but I can't help it. I am talking about bad mojo, evil eyes, restless spirits, negative energy.

It's such a dichotomy, I am blushing from shame for admitting this but I am looking over my shoulder for a wrinkled old gypsy lady.

The other day a giant, but stupid, turkey crashed into my backyard fence. During his collision he knocked down my plaque of Athena and broke her into 3 pieces (3 being a magical number). I loved that plaque. It was cool looking, and Athena, being the G-ddess of War, protects cities, homes, property etc. So now there is a hole in the bubble of protection I have around my home.
Trust me, I know that sounds completely goofy! But I can't be alone in these beliefs. I know there are other people reading this blog who have a similar superstition or ritual that gets you through the day. Right?

I really believe Athena works. At our old house I hung her on the fence on the side of the yard where we had a crazy neighbor. I was warned by other neighbors that he has a plate in his head and isn't afraid to call the police and tell them that you have toilet papered his house (even if there is no toilet paper in his yard) or find out where you work and call to tell your employer lies about you. This guy was a huge menace and in the whole 5 years that we lived there he never said so much as boo to us. We move out, I take Athena with me, and I run into some old neighbors a few months later. Turns out that guy is back to his old tricks. So either he had a great 5 years of mental health which ended when we moved away, or Athena kept us safe from him. But since I will never really know now I am committed to hanging her in my yard again.

Athena isn't our only source of protection. I have an angel in the front yard, and a mezuzah at our door.

In the backyard I had Athena and a totem pole. I guess he really isn't a totem pole because he came from Brazil and it's just one angry gorilla. But one of my husband's friends gave it to us as a wedding present (even though I don't remember registering for a wood carving of an angry gorilla) and I immediately thought he would look good outside, only outside. Now I think he looks menacing enough to keep bad mojo out of that corner of the yard.

But Mr. Angry Gorilla is working by himself now that Athena is gone and my anxiety is climbing sky high. So I started looking online for a replacement for Athena. She was a gift and I have no contact with that person anymore so I have no idea where he got Athena. And I can't find anything like her anywhere. I started to look at this great website named Design Toscano and found some really nice garden art. This angel below is adorable but my husband is barely tolerating the angel in the front yard and would definitely not tolerate much more figurines anywhere.

I found a lot of nice stuff on that site but no Athena. So then I just started to look at the ugly stuff. Look at this guy! I would have to put a fake pile of poop at his feet because to me it looks like he is having some issues with irritable bowel.

Forget my husband, I am pretty sure my homeowner's association would have something to say about this angel in my front yard.

It's true, I am Jewish, but to my Christian friends out there, would you put this in your yard?

This shark made me laugh but he is 8 ft. long and was priced at $750!! Who would buy that?

I am afraid this sheep would attract the wrong element if you know what I mean.

Outside of a theme park, why would you buy a brontosaurus?

I am sorry but that's just ugly.

Ok so this Yeti, or Bigfoot, tickled me so much I actually made it my profile picture on Facebook for a few days. You have way too much money if you are putting statues of Bigfoot in your yard! I couldn't even afford the shipping on this thing.

Have a great weekend if I don't have time to post anything else this! And yes I realize I owe everyone 2 Weight Watchers recipes next week.

Touching Blog Award

Ok so for you non-bloggers here is a little thing we like to do. We like to give each other awards. I have always thought they were cute and silly time-fillers, and I am so down with that. It gives you something to write about and lets you honor your other blogging buddies. Tonight something different happened. I was given an award by a person I have never met and the reasoning behind the award really touched me.

The person who gave it to me has a blog called Tasha's Truth. I can't remember how I found her blog, but I loved it. She is a teacher in a juvenile jail and writes about the youth she works with. I used to manage group homes and I can relate to her stories and the feelings they evoke in her. So I started following her. And then Tasha came to my blog and read it and left me a comment. I am para-phrasing right now, but it said something like I can't believe I have that much in common with a Jewish, married, mother. I read that comment and started looking over my shoulder and then realized she was talking about me. When I looked at her photo I connected with my inner twenty-something and then remembered I am not.




This award is given because:
1) The Blogger manifests exemplary attitude, respecting the nuances that pervades amongst different cultures and beliefs.
2) The Blog contents inspire; strives to encourage and offers solutions.
3) There is a clear purpose at the Blog; one that fosters a better understanding on Social, Political, Economic, the Arts, Culture and Sciences and Beliefs.
4) The Blog is refreshing and creative.
5) The Blogger promotes friendship and positive thinking.

I'm passing it on to:

1) Tasha, this is not a tit-for-tat kind of thing. I read your blog often and am usually too rushed to leave a comment. When you wrote that you yell at your students with your eyes so you don't have to raise your voice, I was struck by your excellent writing, and it made me try harder not to raise my voice to my kids. The eye yelling I already have down to a science.

2) Clare, you are sweetness and light, you are a dark horse. I met your husband before you, but not long before. We all met while we were all still in high school and now we are all "mums" as you would say. You come from the U.K. and you have adapted well, but there is a part of you that won't let go. And that is fine, honor your roots. I love your blog because most of the time it's light and fluffy and then you give us a glimpse of the deep Clare. The powerful Clare. And then you move on again. You remind me of grafitti I saw on a bathroom wall at a pub in London once, it said, "An American girl has to start a Harley by sucking on the tailpipe, an English girl just smiles.". Bitch that so describes you.

3) Meghan, when I was a little girl I wanted to be you. By the time I reach 50 I still don't think I will be as cool as you are. And bitch you aren't even 30 years old yet. You have it all: cool party chick with a career, laid back mom who honors her son's distinct personality, loyal friend, involved citizen and philanthropist, married to a hilarious husband who respects your choices. Your blog is matter of fact, here is my cute family, here is some stuff that makes me happy, if you don't like it then just move on. But for the love of G-d will you get rid of that song!!! LOL, I am not into country and it slows down your blog bigtime.

Great idea Tasha.

Stuff on my other blog

Sometimes it looks like I post the same things on both blogs but I really don't. Just stuff I have to share with the universe. I did just this weekend, post 2 things on the N.E.O. Moms blog that I think you should read.

1. Something my bro wrote, he isn't the only funny one in the family.

2. My beauty goals.

I am in another newspaper

The Post Chronicle picked up another one of my "articles". I better go change a poopy diaper before I get too conceited.

I am on the Chicago Sun-Times

Holy Shit!!! Something completely goofy, and random I wrote on my other blog ended up on the Chicago Sun- Times! Ok, ok online version, but still kind of cool.

I Have Not Given Up On My Blog

I swear I am not giving up, I have just had a week where I am preoccupied with other stuff.

I realize I have not posted my less than 30 minute recipe yet and really nothing else.

I have had this stupid, annoying rash around my mouth for 6 weeks now and nothing is making it go away. Then Sat. night, out of nowhere a couple of spots on my chest started bleeding. Freaked my shit out. I was sitting there checking email, I felt a tickle on my chest and came away with a handful of blood. WTF?!

It happened again last night, and this morning, so I finally made an appt. with a dermatologist.

They were able to squeeze me in this afternoon. I was able to farm out Mike to Auntie M. but I had to take Jake and Bekah to the appt.

But first this morning, I took all 3 kids to Jake's 2 year wellness check. It's confirmed, he is a tank. 75% height and 95% weight, he is built like a fireplug with a bowling ball for a head. My pediatrician started making noises like Jake should see a speech therapist. I rolled my eyes. My daughter started talking at 9 months old and hasn't stopped, but my boys don't start talking until after the age of 2. They are bright boys, but still more braun than brains at this point, and I am not sweating it at all!

I compromised a follow-up in 3 months. I love my pediatrician, but he is way more academically focused than I am, so I take some of his advice with a grain of salt.

Before we left Jake had to get 1 vaccination and a T.B. test. Me and the nurse got Jake restrained as best we could to give him his injections. What amused me was that Mike was huddled in the corner shaking, while Bekah watched the entire process. I guess we can add one more doctor to the bunch.

After we did lunch, and some quiet time, Auntie M. picked up Mike and I roused Jake from his nap early and took him and his sister to my dermatology appointment

A brand new office in Danville. Everything freshly painted white. With brand new, gleaming equipment, glass table tops and potted plants. Ugh. Jake was not allowed out of the stroller and I had to keep picking up Bekah's dropped apple bits, pretzel crumbs and string cheese globs. She eats 24/7!

My diagnosis was....... no idea. I was prescribed 2 different creams and told to come back if it doesn't get better. She was nice, polite, absolutely beautiful, but not super helpful. My husband wants me to get a biopsy, I am not ready to go there yet. I am sure they are just zits.

I dropped off the scrips at my pharmacy and went back home. It was a stunning day so I filled our water table from the hose, and let Bekah and Jake get wet and wild, while I checked email on my laptop in a corner of my garden.

Auntie M. came over later with some alcohol, my monkey, and her 2 monkeys and we hung out a little. The pharmacy called me and said that one of the scrips was not approved by my insurace and was going to cost me $279! Uh, no. She was smart to call me first. Sigh, I will have to take care of that in the morning.

Shortly after that phone call, Jake slipped through the hole he tore in our screen door and dropped our cordless phone in the water table. If you wanna call us, try our cell phones first.