Farrah, My Hair Icon, R.I.P.

With all the events going on in the world right now writing about the passing of Farrah Fawcett may seem shallow. But I loved her! I was born in 1970 and any girl born of that era wanted Farrah Fawcett hair. So feathery and full. See photo of me below for why this was an unattainable dream.

It was so unfair. My mom has a perm in this picture, her hair is straight, couldn't I have straight hair? Just so that I could curl it with a curling iron like all my girlfriends. Kellie, Linda, my cousin Crissy's hair was to die for. Look at my brothers! Blonde and blue-eyed! A complete injustice!!

I loved you so much Farrah! You were on Charlie's Angels for only one season and that is the only season I ever watched.

I tried to straighten my hair with perms, a blow dryer, and once horrible chemicals that made my hair fall out in chunks. But I still held on desperately to the straight pieces of hair that didn't fall out, and combed them over the bald spots. I did this against everyone's advice until a mean 8th grade boy asked me if I had been in a fire. I finally got a haircut.

At least in my high school years the spiral perm started to take off and I was such an angry teen that I started to care less about looking like everyone else.

But I was never angry at Farrah.

I finally waved the white flag of surrender, and my hair called a truce.

And now that I am older there are actually hair products for my hair. So we are good.

Farrah 62 years is too young to die. And to suffer from such an "unglamorous" cancer. I am so sorry, you deserved to die painlessly. But you were still so beautiful. Now I can only wish to be as gorgeous as you when I am 62. Rest In Peace, now you really are an angel.

I Hate Prop 8

So today started off pretty awesome with a Hispanic woman being picked as a nominee, for our nation's Supreme Court. But then civil rights took a step backwards just as quickly as it progressed. The horribly hateful Proposition 8 was upheld by California's Supreme Court. 6-1. To quote my brother Brandon, that is "6 justices who don't believe in civil rights.". I was angry and disappointed, but I turned off the television, and had a nice playdate with a friend and her adorable son. Then comes naptime, and my computer time, and now I am really angry after reading an article on S.F. Gate.

These are the paragraphs in particular that made me angry:



Among the first to go were Shawn Higgins and Robert Franco of San Francisco. The two men, who said they are engaged to marry, had stood for about an hour in the intersection calmly kissing while demonstrators all around them screamed, "Prop. 8 will go down, San Francisco (is a) big queer town" and other slogans.

Damn straight San Francisco is a big queer town! (excuse the pun) And don't you forget it! Who let the Prop 8 supporters over the bridges?!



Jorge Riley, 31, of Sacramento also got up early to make the drive to San Francisco to hoist his sign reading, "Gay = Pervert."

Seriously?! What a hateful, horrible person.

This is a civil rights issue, plain and simple. If you do not agree with me please do not read my blog, do not leave any comments on my blog, and do not follow my blog. Quietly go and unfollow me. And tell your friends not to read my blog. I am too angry and disgusted to be diplomatic right now.

I think rioting is completely warranted. I know that is a shocking statement, but think about it. Somebody is telling you that you can't get married. Think really hard about that........you can't marry the person you love. Wouldn't you feel outraged? Hurt? Demeaned? Feel less than a second class citizen? I would.

I want to take to the streets but I am ashamed to admit that I get caught up in the logistics of whose going to watch my kids while I am in jail. And honestly I don't want my kids around those hateful, ignorant Prop. 8 supporters. They frighten me, so I am sure they would frighten my kids.

This is the part of that article that gave me hope:

While some police officers kept watch from the outside of the protest circle, about 10 officers were positioned inside. Each of those 10 officers are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, said Lt. Lea Militello of the Tenderloin Station.

"Absolutely it affects me. I got married in October," she said.

Police Sgt. Carl Tennenbaum said the officers on the scene ranged from gay to conservative, and many had to say they had "mixed feelings would be putting it mildly." However, he said, "You just have to set the issues aside and do your job."

Maybe when supporters of Prop. 8 see that this truly affects "normal" citizens, like police officers, they will begin to change their minds. I say this because I am under the impression that many supporters of this hateful legislation, have only experienced stereotypes of homosexuals. They are not aware that gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgender people come from every walk of life. So I believe we will have a chance to put this on the ballot again, and make justice and equality for everyone.

Wow it happened!

We have a good man for president and he happens to be black. And we have a strong woman for our first lady and she happens to be black. And we have young children in our white house. These are people I can relate to. These are people I can trust. Ok yes I am a blubbering idiot.

And if asshole Bush got re-elected then you know Obama can too, which means we are going to have a good president for 8 years. Yippee!

Never, ever in my lifetime did I think a black man would be president. Honestly before Barack Obama I never thought about it at all.

Mama Drama

So I am in a moms club, that has nothing to do with that other one, and have been since Mike was 6 months old. The camraderie and support have been a lifesaver. In the 3 and a 1/2 years that I have been a member we have been mostly free of any controversy, until now. As the population of our club increases, so does the variety of personalities. We communicate by an email group, so of course the amount of emails have increased as well. This is where the conflict lies. Some of the moms were annoyed by the amount of emails,and then offended by content. This prompted our dear leader to send out an email that was basically a copy and paste of the bylaws. She is a cool chick and she is just fulfilling one of the roles of her position.

Well this prompted me, and some of my more vociferous friends, to wonder if it was something in particular that we wrote that provoked this smackdown. Was it the email thread about penis water bottles, sex in exotic places, discarded foreskins or alcohol consumption, we will never know. So then everyone was on eggshells, sending out emails with disclaimers stating, I hope this is ok, I hope nobody is offended, I hope this is within our bylaws. I of course was one of those people and I sent it out tongue and cheek thinking this silliness would blow over and we could get back to the camraderie I thought all of us were enjoying. Wrong. I received a personal email back setting my ass straight.

This email was long, and swaddled in phrases of support for fellow moms, like respecting other mother's time and being sensitive to other mom's thresholds of offensiveness. But none of this could hide the underlying tone of condescension and control. I don't do condescending or authority very well. After reading this email I tried to sleep on it but that didn't work. I sent it to some very close friends to get feedback and that didn't quell my anger either. Then I sent out a smartass remark about mom's being too tired to use the delete button and that started a shit storm.

An onslaught of emails were posted by women whining about having to wade through a barrage of emails they found to be frivolous and inappropriate. They complained about their precious morning and afternoons being wasted because they had to read all these offensive emails. What ever happened to the delete buttons on their computers? When I am confronted by a boring thread of emails, I just delete them, no big deal.

As for offensiveness, this really gets my goat. We are mothers, we are women, we are adults. To paraphrase my friend Barb, you have to have sex to be a mother, it's kind of a prerequisite of a mom's club. So even if you adopted your child or used IVF, it's most likely that you at one point had sex and figured out it wasn't working like you planned. Even if you are a lesbian mother and have never had sex with a man, you at some point probably had sex with your partner. Considering the level of alarm that some of the mothers have expressed about the content of emails and conversations at our mom's night outs, I am thinking that their children are a result of virgin births or sex through a hole in a sheet. This is just my opinion of course.

Yes you heard right somebody complained about the adult conversations at one of our recent mom's nights out, that has nothing to do with any other mom's night out. Once a month we have a mom's night out event, that has nothing to do with any other event, with no children allowed, unless you are nursing. At the last event no children were present and somebody actually complained that we were talking about sex. If there are no children present then adult conversation is not inappropriate. Adult conversation should not be censored from email as well because it is assumed that a child is not reading an adult's emails. It is a parent's responsibility to make sure their children are not subjected to anything beyond their comprehension.

I am not alone in my opinion. I have received personal emails from women not easily offended, who agree with me and are dismayed by the path our club is taking. What is appropriate for adults is not appropriate for children. A successful mother's club realizes that distinction. What the new moms have yet to learn is that you can love and serve your children without sacrificing yourself. It is totally ok for you to be your true self and positively channel that into your childrearing practices. Otherwise you are going to be left alone with your husband, and you are going to be nothing but a shell. I am not talking about a pretty abalone shell, I am talking about an empty snail shell, with cobwebs.

It is absolutely fine for you to still hold onto the interests you had before becoming a parent. You may have to get a sitter to participate in them or even delay those activities for a few years, but you should not give them up. I enjoy cooking, dining out and reading. I can cook for guests while they watch my kids and keep them out of the kitchen. I get a sitter to dine out and I read before bed when my kids are asleep. What I really miss is listening to classical music and doing jigsaw puzzles. I know, I know, I am a closet nerd. I can put on classical music but my kids would eat and/or destroy a jigsaw puzzle so I don't even try. We are working up to camping and hiking. My point is that you don't have to completely give up who you are to be a good mom.

So is this division in the mom's club, different from that other mom's club, from new, inexperienced moms or is it a deeper division of philosophy? I recently went to a new member's house and saw a giant cross hanging on her wall. If I was a vampire or a werewolf, I would not feel safe in this neighborhood. As a Jew, I felt a little squirmy. I had a paranoid premonition that things in the mom's club were gonna change. Turns out I wasn't so paranoid. I really hope that is not it. If this sudden upheaval and outrage over behavior, we have grown accustomed to, is because of an infiltration of conservative christians, then I hope they join a mom's club in their church or I will just hit the road myself.

Well I think I have stirred up enough shit with this particular blog posting, what do you think? I need to watch t.v. with my husband now and go to bed soon.

DNC

Ok so after bath and bedtime this evening I made sure that Hillary's speech was being recorded on our Tivo before I started dinner. I have to share my opinions on her speech on my blog because Erik is working at home on his computer tonight and can't be interrupted by my commentary. So anyone reading this is welcome to skip or skim the following.

So I am watching MSNBC because Fox is the evil right and CNN can be too liberal even for me. In the minutes before Hillary took the stage it was like watching the coverage before the Super Bowl. Lots of talking heads trying to guess what she was going to say while the camera was firmly lodged on Bill Clinton in the audience. Bill was sitting next to a woman I didn't recognize and was talking her ear off. What amused me was that she seemed to be leaning away from him and barely listening. This is Bill Clinton, the man who can talk the panties off a Nun. I even had to interrupt Erik to show him this and he agreed that you have to be a very hard-core lesbian to not be charmed by Bill Clinton. Sure enough about 3 minutes later this woman leaned closer, tossed her hair and smiled. You gotta love him. I mean I would never want to be married to him, he is a horrible slut, but if you have ever had guys as friends, you know some them just can't help it. Some men play football, some men play women.

That is why I could never vote for Hillary. It's ok to be friends with men like that, even date them, but you don't marry and have children with them. And if you do, once it becomes obvious that they just can't keep it zipped up, you dump them. It is your right as a mother (especially to a daughter), to set an example on how wives and mothers should be treated.

Having said all that Hillary's speech moved me to tears twice this evening. I had to endure some severe eye-rolling by my husband but I let the tears flow. The video before her speech at first made me laugh because it was so transparent in it's goal to make Hillary girlie and even kind of hot. Thumping, throbbing rock music and pics of Hillary young and in college, with long hair, and glossy lips. Too much. But then when they showed several pictures of young children and Chelsea started narrating and talking about the G-d given potential of every child...........well I took off my glasses and started rubbing my eyes.

Once Hillary took the stage in her orange power suit and started hitting all the key points, my tears dried and I started to eat my veggie pizza fresh from the oven. I kept the t.v. on and got fired up from the kitchen table as she ripped on the republicans and really plugged health care. The tears started to flow once again when she started talking about the fight for the right for women to vote. When she brought up Harriet Tubman I lost it. The several references to the 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling was pretty awesome too.

The fact that I didn't vote for Hillary and just can't put aside my personal feelings in regards to her personal situation, doesn't mean I don't respect her on some level. I have known many a smart woman who has made many a stupid decision when it comes to their personal life. Here is my double standard; I truly believe Bill Clinton is a slut but I would vote for him again, I would not vote for Hillary for putting up with Bill's behavior. It's awful, I know, but I expect alot more out of women than men. I need to change my attitude because I have 2 sons but as it stands right now I can forgive men like Bill Clinton because I believe they just have not evolved enough to be able to control themselves.

I could only vote for a woman for president if she is capable of putting a man in his place. Hillary is awesome, she has done amazing things and raised an amazing daughter. But Hillary Rodham Clinton did not respect herself or her daughter enough to get rid of a man who cheated on her with several women, including a young woman the same age as her daughter.

If only Michelle Obama would run for president, and if she was Jewish too!