Halloween is more stressful than Christmas/Hannukah!

Remember how insanely happy you were at Halloween when you were a kid? Like seriously out of your mind? Even if your family didn't have a ton of money, and you didn't have the best costume in the world, Halloween was almost always guaranteed fun. That's because your Mom did everything.

Last Thursday, Oct. 29th, I started thinking about all the things I needed to get done to get the kids ready for their school parties, parade and then Halloween itself. Which includes dragging my crazy 2 year old along and trying to get him to maintain. Plus all the other usual crap I have to do. I started freaking out!

On my Facebook page I put my concerns in my status update. Sometimes you write something in your status update and everyone ignores you. Sometimes you accidentally start a shit-storm, this time it was a mommy vent-fest! Read below to see what I'm talking about. I have deleted the last names to protect the innocent.




Charlotte: is it me or is it kind of stressful getting kids costumed and to all of their activities on time with a smile on your face?




Beatrice
The sugar high afterwards is the best @@Is your parade today? Was hoping that we got to wrangle kids together on Friday!
October 29 at 9:42am ·

Barbara
Absolutely stressful! Hope you had fun once you got there.
October 29 at 10:30am ·

Sharon
Super stressful, in fact, this morning I was thinking that having kids and keeping crap organized is never ending, especially with school! And what is worse is when I finally show up all in one piece (kids fed and not a mess), I then have to pretend that I am really happy to be wherever the hell I am supposed to be!! :) It's sort of all BS! Last night at I.s swim class, K. was throwing this gigantic tantrum, (i.e. trying to jump in the pool and of course not listening to a damn word I had to say), and I felt like I was the mom from hell, wrestling with her to stay out of the pool, while all the other moms were gorgeous, hair all in place, smiling and watching me!!! :) Sorry, just had to vent! Off to pretend things are easy! :)
October 29 at 10:47am ·

Louise
Come on you guys, you love it and you know it. ( I'm Charlotte's mom)
October 29 at 11:13am ·

Stacy
14 year old still going trick or treating...he dressed up like a girl for years and pulled it off pretty good but now that he cut his hair....
October 29 at 12:02pm ·

Julie
Wait, we have to smile too???



Charlotte (me again)
I am stressing already and nothing starts until tomorrow. I just have to use babysitter time today to prepare for tomorrow's parade, party and baseball class. Also go to Dr.'s appt. bank, pay bills, pick up Mike from school, Target and throw a costume together for Jake that looks like his mother cares about him, even though he doesn't know Halloween from his elbow. And Jake just did something destructive but very impressive to one of our baby gates instead of napping. Tomorrow morning I get to dress them up for Halloween all super cute and fluffy get them to Mike's class party and convince Bekah that's better than going to her party because i can't be in 2 places at once and drag my insane 2 yr. old along who is already giving me chronic shoulder pain because he weighs more than that balloon boy kid who is 6 yrs. old and he constantly wants to run away. Do parade with kids' school, come home and try to feed them lunch and do nap and then baseball class which I hope Mike will behave at and Bekah and Jake will not want to join. I can fake smile through anything but I will be sweaty and have frizzy hair and I refuse to suck in my stomach. Mom it's time to start the Aricept. Love,Charlotte

Charlotte
Just kidding about the Aricept mom, I don't' want you to google that and get mad at me.
October 29 at 1:05pm ·

Charlotte
And if I don't' go get my eyebrows waxed soon people are going to start confusing me with my husband. Ok seriously now I am going to do filing because I am sure Jimmy Hoffa is buried under a pile of bills on my desk.
October 29 at 1:10pm ·

Pamela
Before I had kids I thought all the holiday stuff would be a blast. Now I realize exactly how hard it is and that it is a lot of work. It is not about me having fun, it is about the kids having fun, which is right, but kind of sad - especially since I doubt they are going to remember any of it. I always wanted to be a fun mom, but it is hard to be a fun mom when there is so much work that has to get done and you are the only one doing it. I guess you just have to do the best you can and write off the rest. Otherwise, it will make you crazy. :-)
October 29 at 3:28pm ·

Charlotte
I am less stressed now. I got a lot done today and Sarah helped me with creative ideas. Thank G-d for somebody younger with more energy. This was all sooo much fun when you were a kid, it's BECAUSE YOUR MOMMA DID IT ALL! Now for a walk and pumpkin carving.
October 29 at 3:41pm ·

Linda
I use to love dressing up for Halloween...but with kids, I forget about me and now tomorrow people expect us, teachers, to wear costumes...I don't have one! Where did the days go?
October 29 at 6:09pm ·



I hit a nerve didn't I?

We make it to the parties in time and the kids were adorable. I brought cheese and crackers to Mike's party and then Bekah wanted to go to her party with her peers. So I did end up dragging Jake back and forth between the 2 classrooms and just kept him in his stroller for basically 2 hours.

The parade of 2-5 year old's march to the city hall and the employees and police pass out candy and even the new mayor came out to greet the kids. Some asshole gave the kids whistles though!!! Who does that? I quickly confiscated those.

Halloween day dawns and Jake has a fever. So I stayed home with him while the kids hung out with Erik all day and then went to Auntie M.'s for pizza and trick and treating. Mike started to whine that he was tired before the third house, sure enough he woke up sick on Sunday.

Now it's Monday. Mike has a fever, Jake is healthy ,and surly, and so far (knock on wood) Bekah is healthy. It's 80 degrees today and I am watching Scooby Doo. I want to go to the park!

Below is Bekah as Dorothy and Michael as Optimus Prime. And Chester, Auntie M's dog, as Yoda.

Here's to Thanksgiving!

Tips on Making This Summer Fly By and Child Abuse Prevention Tips

Last weekend was super fabulous! A weekend alone with a few of my peers and lots of beers. I came home ready to be a super mom and spouse. Emotionally engaged with all 3 of my kids, and darling husband, planning plenty of activities, loads of patience, no yelling, and no excessive t.v. watching.

My plans were foiled by my sick boys. We can't leave the house. Fevers, and a cough that leaves them gasping for breath. I thought Mike was feeling better yesterday and had my sitter, Sarah, take them to the park. But then Mike came home and went to bed at 6:30pm! And slept straight through the night for 13 hours! This is unheard of behavior from my active guy. And he is even taking a nap, willingly, at 12:30pm in the afternoon!! Me and Bekah are bored silly and she is driving me nuts.

I completely lost my patience with her this morning. And then was stricken with guilt. Bekah is 3 and therefore in the throes of the Criminally Insane Threes which make the Terrible Twos look like a walk in the park. She loves to tease and torture me and her brothers. She loves to ask me all day long for things we either don't have or she knows she can't have. Today she has asked for french fries, oranges, and chips. We don't have french fries at all, we do have plums, strawberries, apples, nectarines, watermelon, grapes, bananas and cantaloupe. I gave her some Sun Chips and she threw them on the ground said, "These aren't potato chips.". She got a time-out for that rudeness and we temporarily extinguished that behavior.

So then she moves onto torturing Jake. Who is just generally fussy and cranky and it's just a lot more pleasant around here if we can keep Jake happy. I blew up a beach ball for him to play with and he was thrilled. He runs around the corner and Bekah steals it from him and he starts to shriek. Everyone covers their ears and wine glasses start breaking. And Bekah is laughing. That was the final straw. I told Bekah she is going on another time out and she said, "No!". I really hate it when my kids tell me no. So I walk up to her to escort her to the time-out room. She starts running all over the house and I tell her if she continues to run her time-out gets longer and longer. So finally I have to chase her and once I get her, all my patience has completely dissappeared.

I squeezed her arm way too hard, I yelled way too loud and then said, "You better pull your shit together or this is going to be a long ass day!!!". And then I slammed the door. And I immediately felt like an asshole. Ugh, she is only 3 years old and I am yelling and swearing at her, this is not the best summer in the universe that I had envisioned.

I put her on a 5 minute time-out so I could pull my shit together. We then hugged and kissed and I apologized. I then told her what I expected from her for the rest of the day:

-No asking for things we don't have in the house. We have fruit in a fruit bowl on the kitchen table and that is for snacks.
-No teasing her brothers by taking their toys or sticking her hands and feet in their faces.
-I also told her she couldn't have any snack or her chewable vitamin until she gets dressed.

We then danced to a kid's c.d. that doesn't make me crazy. And completed our Father's Day Craft. Those are the pictures listed below. I made cloth books and put velcro on the pages so that my kids could take felt shapes of their father's favorite activities and stick them on the pages.

We played with some Legos, Hotwheels, the water table outside and then ate lunch. Now Jake and maybe Mike are both napping. Bekah is doing quiet time in our rec room watching Dora and eating grapes. And as I sat down to do some blogging I realized my mistake. I made a great plan for summer that involved us LEAVING the house. I had forgotten to make up plans for days where for whatever reason we are stuck inside. I should have known better because last summer there were so many wildfires we were stuck inside for a few days at a time, so I need to plan for that.

So the rest of this post is going to be links for indoor activities for kids and ways for moms to not lose their shit (minds). Print this and put it on the fridge, I am.



-My first link is to the Child Abuse Prevention Council. Don't think you are above that, it can happen. The site is full of resources but the page I sent you to reccommends to just Take A Minute. This morning I took 5 minutes locked in the bathroom taking deep breaths.


-Next is not a link but an email that my friend Danica sent to my N.E.O. Mom's Club. She needed to peel her son away from the t.v. and came across this list of activities. I quickly went scrambling for it this afternoon to share with all of you.


1. Button Sorting ? Buy a bag of buttons at your local craft store andhave your child sort them however s/he wants to, by color, size,number of threading holes, etc. An older child can count the sorted piles. I use little plastic cups from the party store that I think are for condiments or something. But they are shallow and non breakable.

2. Placemat per Night ? Buy a stack of blank paper placemats from theparty supply store. Have your preschooler color a new placemat to eat off of for the evening. S/he can make a new one each night as make on for other family members. Great during dinner prep.

3. Wash Day ? This sounds silly, but kids adore it. Fill a large bucket with some mild soap, like Ivory. Allow your child to wash washcloths or dish towels. Provide another bucket (or rinse the firstout) to rinse, and then hang them with clothes pins and a string inthe bathroom. This helps the child learn that clothes get clean via aprocess, not just "magic" Or have them wash their play dishes, tea party set etc.

.4. Shaving Cream Cars ? Put a mild, unscented shaving cream on a cookie sheet with a lip (sometimes called a brownie sheet or jelly-roll pan). Allow your child to drive cars and trains through the"snow". Those learning to write letters can attempt their letters with an index finger and erase to try again easily.

5. Painting the driveway or deck ? On a sunny day, give your child a container of water and a real painter's brush (wide with a thick handle) and allow h/her to paint away. The sun evaporates the water quickly, and the kids love to see the cause and effect of painting.

6. Big Paper Bag Hats ? Using a large, shopping-sized paper bag, cut alarge shape and staple it closed except for the bottom portion. Invite
your child to decorate however h/she wants, then the child can try iton and you can adjust with staples accordingly.

7. Aromatherapy Play-Dough -- Homemade play-dough is easy to make andwhen you add a couple of tsps. Lavender oil (or eucalyptus if the child has a stuffy nose), children get the benefits of calming scents while they knead and create. A very "downtime" activity. Play Dough Recipe 1 cup flour
cup salt
1 cup water
1 tablespoon oil (of your choosing)
1/8 cup cream of tartar
Mix all ingredients in a sauce pan. Cook and stir over low/medium heat until play dough is completely formed and no longer sticky. Allow to cool slightly before storing in an air tight container or zip lock bag

8. Matching Pasta ? sorting and matching are pre-math activities. Glue a different type of pasta (shape, color, whatever) to the bottomof a plastic cup ? clear works well; then provide the child a bag or cup full of a mixture of all kinds of the pastas to sort. Counting can be added when the child is ready.

9. Cutting Lines ? Preschoolers and scissors = hours of entertainment.To teach fine motor skills, draw lines (all kinds ? dotted, swirly,straight) lengthwise on a piece of plain paper. Ask your child tofollow the line you've drawn with scissors. You can even put a sticker at the end as a goal target. Start easy, build gradually.

10. Collage Mania ? This also makes a great homemade gift for afriend. Get a small tackle box and fill each compartment with adifferent glue-able item (pom-poms, rickrack, magazine cut outs,pieces, feathers, beans, buttons, pasta, etc.) add a glue bottle or stick and you have the makings of a collage activity at a moment's notice. You can even bring this to a restaurant to ease theboredom/restlessnes s factor there.

11. Lacing ? Lacing cards are easily made. Take some cardboard and cuta shape or animal that your child likes or needs to learn. Punch holesaround the perimeter (less for younger children, more for older), thentie a shoestring to one end and show the child how to lace. Great forsmall motor skills, great for a restaurant.

12. Tweezers ? Give your child a set of blunt tweezers. Fill a smallbowl with items like a tissue, a cotton ball, feathers, pipe cleaners? get creative. Invite your child move the items from one bowl toanother bowl using only the tweezers. Super small motor strengtheningactivity.

13. Musical Drawing ? Invite your child to draw to match the mood ofmusic that you put on ? marching music, classical, rock ? whatever. This can be done with watercolors too.

14. Choose the Mood ? Draw a plain head with no facial features. Makemany copies. Allow your child to draw the face with different moods:happy, sad, disappointed, hurt, etc.; another good restaurantactivity. For kids who have a hard time articulating their feelings,this can be a tool to let them show how they feel.

15. Animal Doctor ? The word veterinarian is a hard one for preschoolers. But Animals doctor works just fine. Provide a small Tupperware container of bandages and other first aid items obtainedfrom the drugstore (or even the dollar store). If your child needs something to do or you need a moment to breath, bring out the box and say something along the lines of "I think I just heard Brown Bear cry,I hope he's okay. Will you check?" This is good for teaching empathyas well as just plain fun, my kids always love trying on the role of sole caregiver

.16. Easy tambourine ? this is an oldie but a goody. Have your childcolor or paint on the underside of 2 paper plates. Staple the sidestogether leaving a small opening. Using a funnel, allow your child topour about ? cup of beans or rice into the pocket, then staple thehole up. Instant fun ? add some music and your child will be loving life.

17. Ladle Fishing ? Using a large bin or wash basin (dollar store isgreat for these) ? drop toys or household items into the bin andinvite your child to "fish" for specific items. Can you get the yellow block? Oops, looks like you got the blue alligator, try again!Helps to teach shapes and colors without the child even knowing it!

18. Tupperware Galore ? Tupperware is of endless fun to this group. Keep you family's supply in a low cabinet that the child can easily access. Ask for your child's help in finding a matching lid to a specific container ? even if you don't really need it. This not only teaches matching and provides tactile stimulation, but lets the childf eel the pride of being helpful.

19. Pace It Out ? How many steps is it from your bedroom to the stairs? How about from the kitchen to the laundry area? How about when I pace it or Daddy does? This is a good one for line-waiting boredom.I wonder how many steps it is over to that water fountain. One of mykids even made a little journal listing the paces to and from various places.

20. Nature Bracelet ? Using very sticky tape like packing tape or ducttape, make a "bracelet" by reversing the tape so the adhesive side is out. Go on a walk and let your child create a bracelet with what h/shefinds along the way. This can also be done at home with feathers

.21. What's in the Bag? Using any bag that isn't transparent, put 5 ors o items in the bag such as a spoon, a cup, whatever you find. Haveyour child close his/her eyes and feel in the bag to guess what is inside. This is a good family activity too as the child can add things to the bag to stump mom or dad.

22. Spin the Bottle ? Not the traditional kind! Spin the bottle, and whomever it lands on has to pay the spinner a compliment, even if the bottle lands back on the spinner! Kids love this and it teaches themt o notice good traits in others, as well as feel good about themselve swhen others compliment them!

23. Hide and Go Find ? Place objects around the house in a fairly obvious way. Then ask your child to go find something red in theliving room, etc. This is fun and can be played with any number of kids.

24. Shoebox Wagon ? The next time you have an empty shoebox, punch a hole in the side, tie a yarn or ribbon line to it and set a teddy bear or stuffed animal in it. Let your child discover it in your home andh/she will adore pulling it around and making up scenarios with it andstuffed animals.

25. Large Craft Stick People ? Using a handful of large craft sticks,draw faces on each one (perhaps representing family members) and wrapthem up in a pretty bag for your child. Allow him/her to add detailswith crayons and even provide extra sticks for older ones to makehis/her own nation of stick buddies. Another good one for restaurants.

26. What Sifts Through? A messy but fun one, perhaps for outdoortime. Using a colander and a basin, give your child a variety of cupsfilled with various things ? rice, sand, blocks, beans, etc. Invite him/her to explore what can fir through the colander's holes. This is great for pre-math and visual spatial relationships.

27. What floats? Using a basin of water, give your child a cup o rcontainer of items to see which ones float. You can discuss heavy andlight and how size doesn't always indicate weight.

28. Paper Bag Puppets -- Using brown paper bags (an inexpensive necessity!), draw faces of a dog, a cat, etc. and invite your child to do the same, on the bottom of the bag. You can even glue items likeyard and feathers to make fun and funny puppets. These puppets have taught lessons in our house, as I have put on little plays with themto teach the importance of being kind, or manners, or cleaning upafter oneself.

29. Produce Printing ? Using washable tempura paint, fill a paperplate with paint and cut a number of produce items in half in front ofyour child. You take one half and give your child the other. Dip inpaint and print on paper. This makes nice gift wrap!

30. Large Paper Tabletop ? Buy a roll of shipping/packaging recycledpaper. Roll it out onto a table or breakfast bar for the day or week,securing it with tape or clothespins. Provide a cup of crayons, asmall basket of stickers, washable stamps, etc. An instant, easy activity that is great when a buddy is over as well.

31. My Journal ? Buy a journal at the dollar store and a beautifulwriting pencil or interesting crayon and give it to your child todoodle, write, or simply scribble. Let him/her know that it is forhim/her only and that it doesn't need to be shared or shown to anyone.This makes the child feel so grown up.

32. Pasta Necklace ? Another oldie but goody. Using strong string(not yarn) and tube shaped pasta, let the beading begin. Be prepared to be asked to wear these creations, and do so!33. Straws and Cotton Balls ? keep these in a bag together and inviteyour child to make the cotton ball "run" using only his/her breaththrough the straw. H/she can use different colored straws to see ifone makes the cotton ball go further than another color.

34. Volcano World ? This is a production, but whenever I did it, the kids played with it all day long exclusively. In a small jar (babyfood sized is ideal) put in enough baking soda to fill the jarhalfway, add a few drops of red or orange food coloring if desired,build a "mountain" around the jar, leaving an opening to pour vinegari nto the jar later. Using plastic animals or dinosaurs let your childplay with them on the mountain and then, with great drama, add the vinegar. A containable and safe "explosion" will occur. SO fun!

35. Paper Chain ? Using strips of construction paper, let your child make a loop garland using tape or a stapler. Make sure you are near ifa stapler is being used. Older kids can write on the strips ? my kids write what their favorite things are, or colors, etc. And the chain becomes a monument to that list, "My favorite foods chain", etc. ? tohang in a bedroom or playroom.

36. Magnets Galore ? At the craft supply store, purchase a dozen or so painted wooden figures. These are very cheap - .25 cents each, I believe. Super glue a small magnet to each one and purchase a small cookie sheet for magnet play. When you are cooking, you can bring this out to occupy a little "helper". Store this on top of the refrigerator and only pull it out occasionally to keep it fresh. You can add magnets as your child develops new interest. This also makes a lovely homemade gift.

37. Lunch a New Way For a casual lunch, use a 6 count muffin tin and put a different food in each spot. You can use one of the spotsfor the child's drink. This is great on rainy or indoor days whensome excitement is needed.(Hey this chick stole my idea!)

38. Bread and Dough Sculptures ? making a simple pretzel or pizza dough is easy and when kids can make shapes or animals out of itbefore it bakes, all the better. Here's a recipe I use: Pretzel Dough:1 tablespoons quick-acting yeast1 cup water1 teaspoon sugar1 teaspoon salt2 cups flour1 tablespoon oilPreheat over to 400 degrees. Measure the water, sugar and yeast into abowl and mix. Wait two or three minutes for the yeast to soften. Stirin one cup of flour, then add oil, salt and remaining cup of flour.Sprinkle flour onto a wooden breadboard and place the dough on it.Knead dough for about five minutes. Place dough in a bowl and coverit, letting it rise for about 45 minutes in a warm place away from drafts, open windows, etc. Punch the dough down and work it into aball. Next, separate the dough into smaller portions and let thechildren use their hands to roll the dough into ropes or snakes tomold dough into different shapes. After combining ingredients, showchildren how to knead the dough and let them try. There's no need towait for it to rise.Let them brush their pretzel with a beaten egg, sprinkle with sesameseed, and bake at 400 for about 10 minutes, until light brown.

39) Frozen Ants -- Ask your preschool child to peel a banana and cut into two or three small pieces with a plastic knife. Spread peanutbutter on each piece then roll each piece in raisins. Wrap loosely inwaxed paper and freeze. Your young child may want to eat right away so have more than one banana available.

40) Teddy Bear Fort ? Kids always make forts for themselves, but whatabout their favorite doll or stuffed animal? Help your child getstarted and h/she will take it from there.

41) Can You Find It? Hide a variety of small objects in a basin ofrice or sand and ask him/her to find specific objects by feeling alone.

42) Which is longer? Cut strips of construction paper to different lengths. Ask your child to find the longest green strip, the shortest red one, etc. Categorizing options are many here and easy for thechild to do without frustration.

43) Pajama Day ? Let your child stay in his/her jammies all day andeat breakfast foods all day. Gather up all of your lullaby music andnighttime books. Let your child use a flashlight all day and make ateddy bear bed out of a shoebox.

44) Animal Search & Find ? Give your child a stack of a few magazines and ask him/her to find as many animals as possible. H/she may chooseto cut them out with safety scissors.

45) Cup Tower -- Have your child stack paper or plastic cups into atower and then knock them down. Watching them all fall around is halfthe fun!

46) Make a rainbow streamer. Take a paper plate, punch 5-6 holes next to one another along one side of the paper plate, cut out the middle,and tie ribbons to each hole. Encourage your child to run and dancewhile trailing his/her creation.

47) Tea and a Tea Tree ? Buy a very fancy tea cup and saucer for yourchild ? Ross or Marshall's works well for this. Buy a collection ofherbal teas and perhaps some stevia, honey or agave nectar to sweeten.Let your child choose from a variety of teas. After you have your hightea together, hang the used tea bag on a tree outside. When it rains,it will "rain" tea!

48) Giving Back ? Every once and awhile, make cookies for the mailcarrier or garbage truck workers. If it's hot, hand them a Gatoradebox or popsicle. When you do this, be sure to talk about how hardthese people are working and how thankful we are that they do whatthey do. This remains one of my kids' favorite activities and memories, and the mail carrier thinks it's pretty great too!

49) Tissue Box Mailbox. When you have an empty tissue box, gather up some junk mail, write your child's name on the side and allow him/herto play with opening mail, putting it through the slot and feelinglike a grown up. H/she can decorate it as well.

50) Weather Chart Make a circular pie chart Party supply stores have cake making supplies that work well for this), punch a hole in the middle and use a brad to secure a sturdy cardboard. Making as manysections as you wish, draw simple weather shapes. Encourage your childto notice the weather and change the chart whenever h/she notices thechanges. How many different types of weather can happen in one day? Hang this low or on the refrigerator so h/she can access.



A Last Couple of Notes:Messiness It is hard to watch your home become a chaotic mess from preschool activities. Try to let that go. These are the years that they need to learn with all of their senses and curtailing that only means stunting learning opportunities. That said, they shouldn't be allowed to rule the roost either. Designate an area in your home(ours is the kitchen table, which I figure I'll be cleaning anyway)for any messy activities. Encourage your child to help you clean, even in the most basic way, such as; will you pick up that spoon while I wipe down the table.





I think those are great activities for kids but now I am on a quest for stuff for moms to do to take a break without abandoning the kids:


-I am computer oriented and I guess you are too which is why you are reading my blog. How about taking a Facebook break? Re-connect with family and friends and play a stupid game just to take the load off.


-I need to look at funny pictures or read funny stuff to make me happy and relaxed.

-How about prayer? Can't hurt right?


-Stress relievers you can do with your kids.


-Stay Sane.


-Wow this article covers it all!




Hang in there everybody!!

Three Year Olds Are Criminally Insane

I know I have said this before but 3 year olds are worse than 2 year olds and I believe they are criminally insane.

Bekah made us late to pick up Mike from Pre-K because she 1) Wanted to finish watching Diego, 2) Refused to put her pants on 3) Tried to lock me out of the house.

I told her to put on her pants because we were going to pick up Mike from school and she said, "No, I am watching Diego!.". So I said, "Bekah I am going to go put Jake in his carseat when I come back I want your pants on and then I can turn off the t.v. or you can.". I grab Jake, step into the garage and as I am putting him into his carseat I hear, "..click.". She locked the deadbolt.

Luckily I had my keys in my pocket! But it's the principle of the act, that she tried to lock me out so she could watch t.v. in her underwear!!

I marched back into the house, shoved her into her pants, turned off the t.v. and carried her to the van and strapped her into her seat. I couldn't look her in the eyes or talk to her. Grrrrrrr.

Sore Throat Tuesday

A dear friend sent me an email this morning. I won't put her name or her kids' names in here because I don't have permission. She found an email I sent her and it makes me look like such a great person I thought I would share it with the universe.




Hi Charlotte,

So my little monkey is 1 (well technically at 12:32pm he’ll be) and thus, I’m taking a trip down memory lane looking up emails from a year ago. Yes, a year ago. God, where did this year go?! Anyway, I found this email from you and reading it now, just made me cry. You’re a great, sweet person. Thanks for everything!

Love,

The email below is from me Charlotte:



I am sorry that your birth plan didn't work out like you expected, I am sure that is dissappointing.

Thankfully all of you are healthy, besides the cold, and that you are now comfortably at home.

Coming upon Jake's 1st bday and then reading your email and that it was written "late" at night, makes me a tiny bit nostalgic. Not nostalgic enough to reverse my husband's vasectomy or anything, but just reminiscing of that exhausting, but sweet, and exciting time of bringing home a new human being. My friend Vince said once that every couple should have a child, "every 5 years so that there is always a miracle in your home". I may not agree with him on the amount of children ( he had 5 before his wife cut him off, 2 from a previous marriage and 3 with her) but his sentiment has always rang true with me.

Each one of my kids have such strong personalities, and already possess much better traits than I have, that it makes you want to have more and more, despite the temporary/ongoing discomfort and inconvenience.


Love,
Charlotte


Best part is that I don't even remember writing that so it made me feel even more awesome. A nice surprise in my email box this morning.

Much better than the sore throat I woke up with. I can still swallow without crying so I don't think it's Strep but it's damn close, ouch! To give you an example of how bad it is...........I don't even want to drink a beer. If you know me personally don't call 9-1-1, I am sure I will be fine in a couple of days. It's a damn shame though because it's in the low 70's outside and my kids are actually being pretty good today.

I scrounged up some spare change to take them out to lunch and used a Barnes and Noble gift card to get them some books. Mike and Bekah were really good at lunch, Jake was just short of a disaster. He even threw a fork at me!

At B and N they were all good. I read them a few books and they each picked out one. I got the 2nd book in the Twilight series, and a book on feelings to go over with Mike (he gets rather angry sometimes) but I couldn't find a good book for my husband.

What I was really looking for was a book on Private Parts. If you know what I mean. My oldest Mike was licking the boobs of a bridal magazine in the grocery store recently. I was so embarrassed. And he is all into grabbing body parts and talking about them. It used to be kind of cute and funny but he will be 5 in June, it's gotta stop. So I went to the section called, "Growing Up". Not helpful at all. They were either geared towards pre-teens or girls in general. There was one that seemed geared towards preschoolers but I took one look at the illustrations and I was like, "Oh Hell No.". Mike would take a gander at that guy's schlong and start laughing hysterically. It would make the problem worse not better. And this book talked about, "loving sperm", I am soooo not ready for that conversation yet. I put it back on the shelf and decided I would just keep yelling at him until I think of something better.

Anyone have a book on their shelves at home that helped?

Right now Jake is snoozing it up and even Bekah fell asleep on the way home from Barnes and Noble. Mike is playing Legos and watching Spiderman and I am going to read Bekah her new Dora book.

Things On My Mind

So there has to be 3 things on a magazine cover for me to buy it off the shelf: Britney Spears before she was medicated, Octomom, or anything to the with the FLDS. That is the Fundamental Latter Day Saints (Mormons with tons of wives and kids). When I saw them in their prairie dresses on the cover of a People magazine, I snatched it right up.

I was super excited to read about them and was all ready to be outraged and disgusted. Instead I found myself agreeing with some of their opinions. Shocking isn't it?

I realize that the FLDS handpicked 3 families to be interviewed so I am sure they are the families most likely to toe the line. But I really couldn't disagree too much with what was being said by the moms in this article.

Remember that raid on that huge FLDS compound? I totally supported that raid because they were going after parents who allowed their underage daughters to be married off. I am not talking 17 year old girls, I am talking 12 year old girls. Disgusting. Out of 439 children that were removed, 12 of them were found to have been married off between the ages of 12 and 15 and the husbands' trials will start in October. But all of the children, except 2, of been cleared to return to the ranch because everyone got re-educated. I truly hope that is the case.

So the parts I found myself agreeing with the FLDS moms had to do with diet, chores and family time. They quoted one mom as saying that she makes homemade rolls because store-bought rolls are "laundry bread" with the healthy parts washed away. I buy store-bought bread but you can't really fault a mom for feeding her kids whole grains. The children on this ranch milk cows and pitch in with the recycling and other household chores.......from the tone of this article you would think these kids were putting on hot tar roofs in the summer. My kids help bring groceries in from the car and help me sort laundry and "make" their beds. My kids are 2, 3 and 4 years old so they aren't that useful yet but I believe kids should do chores too and I don't wear a prairie dress.

This one mom also talked about how her daughter was exposed to an unmarried pregnant woman at the shelter, where they stayed after the raid. Now I know that surprise pregnancies happen to the best of us, but I have never met a single mom who really wanted to do child-rearing all by herself. Can we all just agree that having 2 parents is best? I don't care if it's 2 dads, 2 moms or an unwed couple. But it sure is a lot easier to parent with 2 adults instead of just one. Anyways, I wasn't as disgusted and enraged as I thought I was going to be.
Another thought that has been poking my frontal lobes this last week has to do with my oldest. Mike is 4.5 years old and is in Pre-K. This is Mike's 3rd preschool because he was on the verge of getting kicked out of the other 2 before I finally yanked him out and found a perfect fit for him. In his classroom there are 6 boys and 2 staff. And even though Mike is a lot more successful at this school, he is still a very demanding, high energy boy.

So my son is a case study. His lead teacher, Miss G. ,is working on her master's in education (or child development) and she is using Mike has her case study. She asked my permission, and I agreed, because I want to use the tips she will find in her research to help with his behavior at home. So I am grateful for that, but of course there is a part of me that is like great my son is a fucking case study.

Then Miss G. tells me after she presented Mike to her class, her fellow students start ripping on her and making her cry. WTF?! She told me that they believe the school is too rough on him and that maybe he has attachment issues. That is outrageous!

Let me tell you why they are wrong. After Mike's first unsuccessful preschool episode I took him to our pediatrician for an assesment. I actually believed the bullshit they were feeding me about Michael being hard of hearing, possibly autistic, only a 4 word vocabulary, etc. etc. My pediatrician rolled his eyes but agreed that responsible parents follow through with concerns like this, and since assesment is free through our school district then why not? Guess what? There is nothing wrong with Mike.

The 2 child behaviourists spent an hour with him and they said the only thing wrong was that they now needed a nap and they thought I was amazing. I was 7 months pregnant with Bekah at the time and they couldn't believe I was still standing. The diagnosis; a very energetic boy who would rather play than sit in a circle or do schoolwork.

So now Miss G. has made him her case study and they are not too hard on him and he does not have attachment issues! Mike needs rigid structure. External control for internal chaos, and me and the school are on the same page with this issue.

Attachment issues? Are you shitting me? I realize that there is a need to label Mike with something because then you will have a set method to deal with a set problem. Mike is very attached to friends and family. He has 2 parents at home, a large and super involved extended family,and a loving babysitter. I want to go to Miss G.'s class and set these people straight but obviously that would be inappropriate. The only label that really fits my son is, spazz.


Have you heard of Freecycle? It's a Yahoo! group where you can get free stuff, and get rid of your stuff. This week I swapped with another mom through freecycle. She took a bunch of Bekah's shoes and clothes and I got a DVD player that had only been used once. Sweet! Our old DVD player in the kids' rec room died after Mike gnawed through the cords (see paragraph above for the reason why). So Erik and I told Mike don't you dare do that again because it's not safe and that's not how you treat your belongings. We told him he would get electrocuted and asked him if he knew what that meant. He said, "That's when you light up, start shaking and get all bony.". Sounds like he has been watching too much Tom and Jerry.

I am sure by now you have heard of that woman who got attacked by her friend's 200 lb. chimp? I was watching the news and her current health status is that she has lost both of her hands, her eyelids, her nose and her lips and may be blind and have brain damage. They are keeping her in a medically induced coma so she can heal. It was announced this week that her family is going to sue the now dead chimp's owner. They are suing for $50 million, and I don't think that is enough. What a horrible story.

For anyone reading this for the first time I will inform you that I live in the East San Francisco Bay Area. The weather this week has been spectacular! Sunny and warm and trees are blooming. But my daughter got an ear infection and we have all been stuck inside, arrgh! After the ear infection she got some horrible diarrhea from the antibiotics, ugh! But now she is all better and it's gorgeous outside still so we will have one day to enjoy this weather before it rains again tommorrow. Beer drinking in the backyard is on my agenda for this evening, how about you?

Broken T.V.

Bekah ended up with a fever of 103 last night and I felt terrible for being annoyed at her potty training mishaps. I kept her home from school this morning and now she seems fine, no fever and torturing her brothers. She made Jake cry so hard he held his breath, turned blue and almost passed out. I had to run over and catch him and then blow on his face to make him inhale.

The lamp on our t.v. is burned out and I have a ton of laundry to fold. The connection there is that I find it physically impossible to fold laundry without the t.v. on. What am I supposed to look at? The laundry while I fold it? How boring!

More Blogging Nerdiness

So I started off today feeling like vulture vomit. I stole that saying from my dad but it describes perfectly how I felt after slithering out of bed this morning. But the nausea is gone, I haven't raced to the bathroom in a few hours, I can breathe from both nostrils and my headache has subsided. My kids watched an unG-dly amount of television but I need to be healthy to get through this upcoming Thanksgiving week so a litte electric babysitting won't kill them.

While I was convalescing today I spent many hours surfing the net and reading blogs by other nerds like myself. Wow, I read some great stuff! Entertaining and intimidating. There are some WAY better writers than myself in this world. I better keep my day job.

I also added some gadgets, widgets and whatnots to my blog but half the shit I have no idea what it does or where it ended up. There is this thing called Twitter where you can enter info on what you are doing at anytime during the day, like the status update thing on Facebook. Then I added this thing at the end of my posts where you can give me instant feedback just by checking a box. I know that leaving comments for some people is confusing or too time-consuming so now you can just check a box to let me know that I made you laugh, mad or bored. Or other.

I also added links to sites that list blogs called The Good Blog and All Mediocre. But I am not really sure how those work. We will see. Start pushing buttons and tell me what happens.