Breakfast in Bed

I wanted to show my husband how grateful I was to him for taking care of me this weekend. I made him some french toast and strawberries to be eaten in bed, alone. I needed Mike's help opening the baby gates and bedroom door so I could bring the tray up to Erik. I said to Michael,"Wake up Daddy quietly and gently.

"HEY DADDY, WAKE UP, BREAKFAST IN BED!!!.".

Mike said, "Mom I am going to stay up here and keep Daddy company ok?".
"Hey Daddy I can pour your syrup for you?".
"Hey Daddy can I smell your coffee?".

I brought them the S.F. Chronicle and they went through the electronics ads and comics together. And yes that is a SpongeBob Squarepants towel on my bed I was worried about getting syrup and coffee on my down comforter. Especially since Mike was wiggling around next to Erik.

I am really enjoying this 5 year old stage. They are still small enough to be cute and the stuff Mike comes up with sometimes just cracks me up!!

Mike is old enough now to figure out that his grandma isn't married to his grandpa. I had my mom in the van with us the other day when he figured it out. My mom and I looked at each other and she confirmed that her and Grandpa Rankin were no longer married (for 35 years but we didnt' tell him that) and then she gushed on about how wonderful Grandma Cherie is. That's my beloved step-mom and she is wonderful and her and my Dad have been married for over 20 years. To top off that conversation Mike burped and said, "Yummy donuts!". Which had me and my mom laughing hysterically because the last time Mike had donuts was 3 hours ago, gross! Only a 5 year old would think it's yummy to burp up 3 hour old donuts.

I thought this conversation was over but as we drove home hours later, Mike suddenly blurts out,
"Hey Mom?"
"Yes"
"Grandpa dumped Grandma?"
I swear to G-d I swerved. I was laughing so hard I almost had to pull over, especially since I was driving over Highway 17, a very dangerous 2 lane mountain freeway.
"No! Grandpa didn't dump Grandma! They just weren't best friends anymore."

Dumped?! I can't believe he used the word dumped in a sentence regarding his grandparents' divorce. Hilarious.

Del Mar High School's 20 Year Reunion, Pre-Party

I am behind in my blogging but I have been having a great summer! Last week I was without a decent laptop because one of my sons gnawed through the wire on AC adaptor. So while I waited for that to be delivered I dragged out an old laptop from our ewaste pile and, well, it was TORTURE!

I had a mini high school reunion last weekend at a friend's house in Watsonville. We were having this pre-party because 2 of my friends live out of the country and won't be here for the real reunion in August. Kellie lives in Honduras and Jen lives in Australia. So our friend Julie opened up her home to us. It was perfect! Especially since her kids are 16 and 17 years old and the rest of us have toddlers.

Julie told me that I would be sleeping in a trailer with my 3 kids (my husband was on-call that weekend) but it was more like a cabin. It was so cute with a woodburning stove and wingback chairs. There was a kitchen, bathroom and a queen and a double bed. I took the double bed, and gave Mike and Bekah the queen. Jake was in his porta-crib but Jake and Bekah eventually all ended up in my sleeping bag with me squished in the middle.


Julie set up her music room downstairs, with window paints, toys, stuff to color with and play-dough. That's Kellie on the left, Jen on the right standing with the cocktail and Linda sitting down.

I have known Kellie and Linda since I was 9 years old, I met Julie in Jr. High and Jen in high school. Jen looks exactly the same, beautiful. Me and Linda tend to drink more beer than others.

Jen's daughter made this nice poem about Margaritas, hilarious!

Kellie was opening some red window paint for her daughter and accidentally poured it on Jake's head. As you can see she was more concerned than he was.

Linda's son. Freaking Cutest Boy!!!! I would die for his eyelashes. Him and my Bekah hit it off immediately. We need to get them together for a playdate and drink ourselves some beers.

Bekah and Jake enjoying the trampoline. Remember when we went camping and Jake was throwing rocks in the creek for Henry the rock fetching dog? Well Julie owns 4 goats and Jake was trying to throw rocks into their pen to make them fetch them. He was laughing and I was apologizing.

Awesome view.

This is Julie and she is not only pretty and a gracious hostess but she made these crepes at midnight that kicked ass.

Jake had too many margaritas. Just kidding. I wish my kitchen floor looked that clean.

7 kids and 2 teenagers and no meltdowns! We lucked out! They were perfect angels.

Towards the end of the night I was feeling as fuzzy as this picture.

I didn't bother going straight home from Julie's the next morning. I left the nice cool weather of the coast and headed home to the Alameda County Fair where it was a 103 degrees. I have a wagon with a canopy that I can load all 3 kids into and we drank a gallon of lemonade each. I had sweat dripping off my chin, gross. But we had fun and it was the last day so I felt obligated to go. Mike is in the yellow t-shirt onstage with this silly band and Bekah is in the red t-shirt playing that tin can.

The real 20 year high school reunion is August 29th but it won't be as much fun as we had at Julie's house.

Our Trip to Santa Cruz

My mom rented herself a beautiful studio for a whole week at the Seascape Resort in Aptos, California. It was to be a week alone but she graciously invited me and Auntie M. and all of our offspring to spend a night with her. We shattered her peace into a million pieces, but we had a great time!

As soon as we got into the room Bekah, Kaitlyn and Haley all piled onto my mom's cozy bed.

Merrill and I enjoyed a beer and the view with my mom and then we suited everyone up and hit the beach. It has private access and they will cart your sandy ass back up the hill in huge golf carts driven by cute guys. There is my skinny Mike.

Kaitlyn just turned 11 years old. Can we say heartbreaker?

This is my future heartbreaker Bekah Boo.

I have one lean son and one tank. Jake continued to throw sand in the air even though it continued to get in his eyes. He's a little slow on the uptake sometimes. That's the beautiful resort on the hill in the background.

Remember that beer we drank? They don't have public restrooms on this beach.

After we hitched a ride back up to the resort we had another drink poolside. Their pool was warm and very kid friendly. We washed up and went to a pizza parlor for dinner that was within walking distance. After dinner some other cute guys from the resort built us a bonfire on the beach and brought us makings for smores. Those white boxes pictured below hold all the ingredients and we used those sticks to do the roasting.

Aforementioned cute guy took a family picture of us. From left to right back row first, Kaitlyn, my mother Louise (Grandma Wheeze), Auntie M, me Charlotte holding Jake, front row Bekah, Haley and Mike.

Mix melted marshmallow and add sand and you have cement.

Oh no! Oscar Garfield Super Flying Cat of the World the Second got melted marshmallow on him. I cleaned him with a wipe and everyone was happy.

Mike and the sunset.

Bekah watching the sunset with Auntie M

I can see the woman she will grow into in this picture.

Cuddling with Kaitlyn.

In the foreground was an air mattress shared by me and Auntie M. In the main bed my mom and Kaitlyn slept. Out of sight on the other side of the bed was another air mattress with Haley and Bekah. We put Mike by himself on some couch cushions because he was too wiggly to share a bed with. And Jake was in the portable crib. We packed that room to the ceiling and the amount of sand in that room could have been used to build a sand castle.

We had a lovely breakfast in my mom's room of bagels, fruit, donuts and coffee. Auntie M and the girls headed back to San Ramon for a swim meet and we headed to a park. After the park we had an awesome lunch where Bekah was so awful I had to yank her out of her seat and take her outside to talk. She was screaming in a very small restaurant because Mike got his lemonade before she did. People were covering their ears and staring at me. I was so embarassed. She pulled it together for our lunch but she was still fairly whiny when we took them to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

Here is Bekah's, "No I don't want ice cream!", face. Obviously she was saying no for the sake of saying no. Who the hell says no to ice cream?! Criminally insane 3 year olds do.

This is my favorite picture from our trip. That's my mom and Mike on the Caveland Adventure Train. My mom spoiled my kids like crazy! Video games, she bought tickets for all the rides, cotton candy, ice cream, they were in Heaven! And my mom and I took turns watching the kids while we went on the Giant Dipper. She let me go first and it is still the best roller coaster in the Universe. My butt actually caught some air and my teeth rattled!

The kids passed out on the way home, even Michael. This is turning out to be a fantastic summer.

My Lazy Ass Weekend

Yesterday I did not shower or wear a bra all day. I was so lazy it was ridiculous. And today doesn't look much more productive.

Friday night I went to a sex toys party at Auntie M's and that was a blast. In fact it was sooo much fun my husband let me sleep in until 10am! I was hanging a little.

At 10:30am Saint Sarah, my kids' babysitter, picked up Michael for the day. On her own time and money she took him to the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco for his birthday gift. I offered her money but she wouldn't take it! Sarah also bought him lunch, a t-shirt, a toy and toys for Jake and Bekah. Can you understand why I call her a Saint? And no you can't have her phone number, she's mine, all mine!

Then my dear husband woke up from his nap and took Bekah to the gym with him and I put Jake down for a nap and slithered back into bed for another hour. LAZY!

I did manage to do some laundry, dishes and housecleaning and I took a picture of this cute faun below. But the majority of Saturday my ass was planted firmly on my couch with my laptop open. And I discovered the addictive properties of twitter. At first I just didn't get the concept, I update my status on Facebook all of the time why would I need twitter? But the whole Iran revolution thing got me hooked, and now I am finding all kinds of interesting characters out there. In fact I guess I was hungover enough yesterday to be gullible enough to think this guy was real. His stage name is Billy Bob Neck and he posted a petition on twitter for fetal consent to abortion. WTF?! It was so obviously a joke but I was moving so slow yesterday I thought it was for real. I actually sent him an outraged twitter. He is actually a comedian, and Billy Bob Neck is his character. How embarassing that I didn't figure it out right away.

So after we put the kids to bed I made an awesome steak and potato salad with a horseradish and red wine vineagrette. Erik and I drank 2 bottles of champagne and watched Jack Ass 2 (the movie). Being married to your best friend is, well, it's the best!!

This morning started off with Erik dragging both Bekah and Jake into our bed at 6am. Then he promptly fell back asleep and started snoring while they tortured me. So I kicked them all out of bed and slept until 8:45am. I relieved Erik so he could nap and I downed a pot of coffee and once again wasted time on the internet. After the caffiene kicked in I did manage to some more housecleaning and cooked everyone lunch. The steak and potatoes from last night scrambled up with some eggs, cheese, broccoli and red bell pepper made an awesome lunch.

I put Jake down for a nap, I showered and Erik took Mike and Bekah to the park to hang out with some of their buddies. I was holding the broom in my hand when they walked out the door but as soon as I heard the garage door close............well here I am again. Loser!

In my defense next week is going to be insanely busy:

Monday= Gym and swimming.

Tuesday= Going overnight to Santa Cruz with my monkeys, Auntie M, the cousins and crashing at a room my mom is renting for the week. That should be fun but exhausting. When my boys are around even a puddle of water they lose their minds, so the Pacific Ocean should be exciting for them. Bekah is a little more refined.

Wednesday= Recovery

Thursday= After the kids' morning music class, I have Saint Sarah all day. Grocery shopping, paying bills, filing, and if Erik is not on-call I would love to take him out to an early dinner date.

Friday= Single motherhood for me the entire weekend! Erik is scheduled to be on-call, which means he will be at the hospital most of the time.

Saturday=Going back to the Santa Cruz area for a mini high school reunion. I have a friend home from Australia and a friend home from Honduras and we are all meeting up at another friend's farm in Monterey. We are all bringing our small kids, doing bbq and potluck,playing music, and some clothing optional hot tubbing. We are spending the night too so nobody has to drive after beer and margaritas. My husband is very sad that he has to work both Tuesday and next weekend, these are his kind of events.

Sunday=Recovery.

So next week's busy schedule is my excuse for this weekend's extreme laziness. I did manage to shower today, but I am still not wearing a bra!

Sex Toys On My Other Blog

Check out the good times on my other blog N.E.O. Moms (Not Easily Offended Moms)

4th of July Vacation Camping 2009

Our 4th of July weekend was spectacular! That's why I haven't been around lately, I was camping, and since it's summer I am trying to spend more time with my kids. I want to make this the best summer ever before Michael starts kindergarten.


We went camping on private lands deep inside Sunol Regional Park. This Ranch belongs to Auntie M's in-laws and has been in the family since the 1930s. That's why it's deep in a regional park in the middle of the bay area. And they were really nice to invite me and my savages out there. The picture below is before we pulled out of our driveway, nice and clean.
Less than an hour later we get to the Ranch and the first thing Jake does is play in the dirt.

This is what he looked like all weekend.

The rest of the weekend was spent drinking beer, eating a ton of food, shooting cannonballs out of a homemade cannon and throwing rocks into the creek. Mostly a lot of beer and throwing rocks into the creek.

That's Bekah's rock-throwing face.

We chilled watermelons in the creek old school style.

Jake made a new friend this weekend. This is Henry, a 9 month old labradoodle and he likes to fetch rocks. He actually holds his breath, sticks his head under water and retrieves rocks. And Jake thought that was the funniest thing he had ever seen in his life.

Look at Henry's face dripping with water as he waits for Jake to throw another rock.

The weather was just perfect, not too hot. After swimming and rock-throwing all day Saturday. Most of the camp four-wheeled over the hill to watch fireworks across the Santa Clara Valley. By Sunday my kids were filthy and exhausted.

I had a great weekend buddy, how about you?

4th of July Vacation

Hey Everyone,
Sorry I haven't been around but now that my kids are healthy we have started to enjoy our summer. My husband's grandmother is also visiting from Phoenix, Az. and we of course want to give her a lot of attention. This weekend we are camping here in the bay area on private ranch lands.

This weekend will consist of happy kids, food, beer, fireworks, beer, a homemade cannon, beer, some more food, beer, swimming, beer, card games, beer, Scrabble, beer, horseshoes, beer, dessert, beer, dogs, beer, dirt, beer and oh yeah some beer.

I hope your weekend is just as good.

My header pic is my younger bro Bill. He is a Navy Seal hence the big gun. He is home safe and probably surfing all weekend in San Diego.
Support our troops!

Lazy Mom's Breakfast Buffet

This is my serve yourself snack tin. It's actually a rubbery silicone muffin "tin" but I use it for snacks more than for cupcakes. This morning I used it for breakfast. Lately my kids have been eating almost no breakfast and I end up wasting a bunch of cereal and toast. So this morning I filled this "tin" with grated cheese, turkey meat, banana slices, apple slices with peanut butter, sliced strawberries, chunks of Challah bread, and honey nut cheerios. So they got their dairy, proteins, fruits and whole-grains and I got to fold 3 loads of laundry. I have already re-filled it twice, so it's working.

My Purse

I have been tagged by my friend Meghan at The Good Stuff to display the contents of my purse. Warning she has music on her blog so turn down your volume if the kids are sleeping.

She is an awesome mommy of one monkey and another monkey on the way. She is a career woman, homeowner, beer drinking buddy and she isn't even 30 yet!!! She totally amazes me.

Feel free to do this as well on your blog and leave a link or leave it in the comments section.

Here goes:
First of all my purse is a Frauda. Fake Prada and cute.
-2 empty bags of Lorna Doone 100 calorie cookies.
-a book The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee, using Jewish teachings to raise self-reliant children. I will tell you how it is when I finish it.
-2 Father's Day cards because we already celebrated it and the cards ended up in my purse after my husband opened them.
-Gymboree receipt with gym bucks
-the ripped off top of a box of Loreal hair color to show my hairdresser what I wanted. She failed.
-P.F. Chang's receipt
-envelope with grocery list and address written on it
-empty sandwich bag
-fake Coach wristlet wallet stuffed with credit cards all ready to burst into flames, very little cash and some change.
-ticketmaster receipt for Chelsea Handler
-Barbie cell phone
-coupon for Tyson chicken nuggets
-20% off and a $15 off coupon for Macy's
-Revlon lipgloss Shine That Pink
-pen from drug company
-another grocery list
-used kleenex from Mike's pre-K graduation
-Swarszki (sp?) crystal nile file, a gift from my grandmother-in-law
-a sock
-box of Sucrets
-coupon for Cheerios
-a gift card for a spa pedicure from my birthday in Dec. which I will use next week
-box of Altoids
-plastic eyeball
-3 Hotwheels cars
-a 5 star progress card for Mike
-orange Play-doh
-2 mini Snickers bar which I am going to eat right now
-4 more pens from drug companies
-old stamps
-bobby pin
-purple Rimmel nail polish
-Chapstick
-Eucerin lotion


Jeez what a mess!

Why Moms Can't Go To The Bathroom

Or take a shower, or pay some bills, etc. Usually when I take a shower at home, and all 3 kids are present I leave out some snacks for them so they don't harass me. Because they have no problem barging into the bathroom and start begging for food while I am naked.

So I usually just put out this cupcake pan and fill it with snacks so they can help themselves. There is something for everyone in there: diced oatmeal cookies, cheerios and graham crackers, diced strawberries, diced apples, diced mozzarella cheese, and pretzels. Doing stuff like this makes me feel like a good little stay-at-home-mom. Everyone is happy! I get to shower with minimal harassment and they get to eat yummy snacks.

But today I just had to go to the bathroom. That's all. I wasn't even in there that long and everyone left me alone. Mike and Bekah were putting their clothes on in front of some cartoons, and well Jake was being quiet.

Jake was being too quiet. I left the bathroom to find him on the kitchen table chewing on apples. Not eating them, just chewing on them, spitting out the pieces and then throwing them on the floor.

I know exactly what happened, he was cruising along playing with that pink Care Bear and saw the sippy cup of water. So he decided to climb up there and get a drink and lo and behold a bowl full of apples.





Oh look there is another apple in front of the fridge. He threw that one pretty far.

The little monster is actually saying, "Cheese".

His cuteness is his best defense against child abuse.