It was fabulous! I have no pics though because I always have my hands full chasing the monkeys.
My mom spent the night Wednesday night and that was great. We hit the gym Thursday morning after Triple A came and put a new battery into my van, sigh. Then we went to Auntie M's for an out of control feast! Jake had a 10 minute nap the whole day so of course by the end he was pretty cranky. Otherwise it was good, clean fun.........well Mike did stick his hand in a pile of dog poop in the backyard.
I am proud of myself for getting to the gym everday this holiday weekend but it's not going to make a dent in the calories that I have consumed. Mashed potatoes with 1/2 a stick of melted butter for breakfast is not on anyone's healthy diet. I would have to swim the English Channel to burn off those calories.
Ugh I am writing this at the gym and now I am being paged. I wonder which one of my savage kids are causing problems.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
An American Bar In Iraq
So my younger brother Bill is in Iraq. Weird place for a Navy Seal since there isn't a lot of ocean in the desert, but Seals are good for other stuff too. I was talking to him this evening on Facebook, using instant messaging. I actually talk to him more now than I did when he was in San Diego because when he is at home in his spare time he is surfing or hanging out with his wife. Now that he is bored in his spare time he talks to basically any family or friends on Facebook. He also called me on my cell phone and it sounded like he was in California, it was amazing! He told me everything is monitored so basically the phone calls consist of me talking about the kids.
This evening he did say that him and his buddies are building a bar and would like bar decorations. I made some joke about building a matching still and making potato wine, which he promptly ignored, making me slap my forehead remembering that he has told me countless times everything is monitored, Duh! Anyways I do want to help our men in uniform by sending them bar decorations.
I asked my husband if he would like to donate his dogs playing poker tapestry he got in Tiajuana while at UCSD but he actually got sad and said only if Bill promises to bring it back. OMG, of course I am not going to ask Bill to bring that back from Iraq! Men get so goofy and sentimental about that shit, I knew better than to ask about the framed velvet painting of the monkey poker dealer. So I said fine then I am buying Bill a neon sign and Erik said fine.
My brother's name is Bill, when you get a chance, please say a prayer. And I don't care who you pray to, it could be G-d, Buddha, Jesus or your garden gnome just say, "Please let Charlotte's brother Bill come home intact.".
Below is a pic of Bill with my first born. They are clones. Bill has passed out watching Transformers with his first nephew.
This evening he did say that him and his buddies are building a bar and would like bar decorations. I made some joke about building a matching still and making potato wine, which he promptly ignored, making me slap my forehead remembering that he has told me countless times everything is monitored, Duh! Anyways I do want to help our men in uniform by sending them bar decorations.
I asked my husband if he would like to donate his dogs playing poker tapestry he got in Tiajuana while at UCSD but he actually got sad and said only if Bill promises to bring it back. OMG, of course I am not going to ask Bill to bring that back from Iraq! Men get so goofy and sentimental about that shit, I knew better than to ask about the framed velvet painting of the monkey poker dealer. So I said fine then I am buying Bill a neon sign and Erik said fine.
My brother's name is Bill, when you get a chance, please say a prayer. And I don't care who you pray to, it could be G-d, Buddha, Jesus or your garden gnome just say, "Please let Charlotte's brother Bill come home intact.".
Below is a pic of Bill with my first born. They are clones. Bill has passed out watching Transformers with his first nephew.
This is Bill's beautiful wife Ari with a squirmy Bekah, Dec. 2007
This is Bill with Jake after Jake has obviously eaten a dinner of sweet potatoes and carrots. I am guessing since he looks a little orange. Dec. 2007
Monday, November 24, 2008
Fetus? But My Name is Michael
My 4 year old was asking about sex today, but he didn't know it. While taking Mike to pre-K this afternoon he busts out with:
"How come I didn't go to the wedding?"
"What wedding?!"
"You and daddy's wedding, was I a tiny baby in your tummy?"
"No honey, you weren't in my tummy yet." Contrary to what some people believe.
"Where was I being a baby at?" Uh-oh!
"Uhm, well you weren't a baby yet. A part of you was in mommy and a part of you was in daddy and when we got married then you became a baby inside me.". Please, please, please don't ask for more, I am not ready for this.
"And then I was Michael.".
"Well we had to wait a while before we called you Michael, we didn't know you were going to be a boy right away. "
"What did you call me?"
"Well when a baby is really little inside a tummy it's called a fetus."
"Fetus?! You called me fetus?! But my name is Michael!".
"But we didn't know you were Michael yet!"
"Did you call Bekah fetus?"
"Yes"
"Did you call Jakey fetus?"
"Yes"
"That's silly."
"I know. Wow, look at that big truck over there."
"How come I didn't go to the wedding?"
"What wedding?!"
"You and daddy's wedding, was I a tiny baby in your tummy?"
"No honey, you weren't in my tummy yet." Contrary to what some people believe.
"Where was I being a baby at?" Uh-oh!
"Uhm, well you weren't a baby yet. A part of you was in mommy and a part of you was in daddy and when we got married then you became a baby inside me.". Please, please, please don't ask for more, I am not ready for this.
"And then I was Michael.".
"Well we had to wait a while before we called you Michael, we didn't know you were going to be a boy right away. "
"What did you call me?"
"Well when a baby is really little inside a tummy it's called a fetus."
"Fetus?! You called me fetus?! But my name is Michael!".
"But we didn't know you were Michael yet!"
"Did you call Bekah fetus?"
"Yes"
"Did you call Jakey fetus?"
"Yes"
"That's silly."
"I know. Wow, look at that big truck over there."
Sunday, November 23, 2008
More Blogging Nerdiness
So I started off today feeling like vulture vomit. I stole that saying from my dad but it describes perfectly how I felt after slithering out of bed this morning. But the nausea is gone, I haven't raced to the bathroom in a few hours, I can breathe from both nostrils and my headache has subsided. My kids watched an unG-dly amount of television but I need to be healthy to get through this upcoming Thanksgiving week so a litte electric babysitting won't kill them.
While I was convalescing today I spent many hours surfing the net and reading blogs by other nerds like myself. Wow, I read some great stuff! Entertaining and intimidating. There are some WAY better writers than myself in this world. I better keep my day job.
I also added some gadgets, widgets and whatnots to my blog but half the shit I have no idea what it does or where it ended up. There is this thing called Twitter where you can enter info on what you are doing at anytime during the day, like the status update thing on Facebook. Then I added this thing at the end of my posts where you can give me instant feedback just by checking a box. I know that leaving comments for some people is confusing or too time-consuming so now you can just check a box to let me know that I made you laugh, mad or bored. Or other.
I also added links to sites that list blogs called The Good Blog and All Mediocre. But I am not really sure how those work. We will see. Start pushing buttons and tell me what happens.
While I was convalescing today I spent many hours surfing the net and reading blogs by other nerds like myself. Wow, I read some great stuff! Entertaining and intimidating. There are some WAY better writers than myself in this world. I better keep my day job.
I also added some gadgets, widgets and whatnots to my blog but half the shit I have no idea what it does or where it ended up. There is this thing called Twitter where you can enter info on what you are doing at anytime during the day, like the status update thing on Facebook. Then I added this thing at the end of my posts where you can give me instant feedback just by checking a box. I know that leaving comments for some people is confusing or too time-consuming so now you can just check a box to let me know that I made you laugh, mad or bored. Or other.
I also added links to sites that list blogs called The Good Blog and All Mediocre. But I am not really sure how those work. We will see. Start pushing buttons and tell me what happens.
Old Post Before Blog Existed
So today since I can't be too far from the bathroom I am going to be posting alot to my blog and just messing around on my laptop in general. Below is something I wrote over a year ago.This was before I started my blog so I wrote about my day's events to my mom's club, that one in San Ramon that I never belonged to. This was back when we just had fabulous women as members.
We had put our first house on the market and Mike had just turned 3, Bekah was barely 20 months old, and Jake was 5 months old. So below was one of the adventures we had in preparing our house to sell.
Hey Everyone,
This might be long sorry. Today was really crazy. Last week we had an inspection report on our house and they found a leak under our kitchen. So today we get a plumber and he finds, gray water and food debris and some fungus. So now they need a clean-up crew to clean up under the house before they can fix the leak and a general contractor to come out and rip up some cabinets and maybe even some kitchen floor.
Here is the clincher to make sure the fungus doesn't spread we need to turn off our a.c. and cover all of the vents and this is all going to take about 5 days. And the guy said that it's not good for small children or the elderly to breathe so we need to leave!!!! So I had to pack up all my monkeys and ship out. Erik came home from work to feed the kids so I could pack everything. I called Sierra Suites and ask them if they have corporate rates for local businesses and since Erik sees paitients at San Ramon Regional I get a $100. knocked off the room rate.
As soon as Erik leaves both Michael and Bekah poo. So I changed them and load everyone in their carseats and blast the van a.c. and gas the light goes on empty. Luckily there is a gas station right next to the hotel. After I fill up I pull right up to the lobby doors and unload and usher all 3 inside the lobby. Three twenty-somethings are loafing behind the counter and tell me the room will be ready in 15 min. Of course Michael and Bekah are starting to explore the whole lobby. Luckily they had a t.v. in the lobby so I turned on cartoons. Jake starts to get mad so now I have to whip out my boob in the lobby and feed him. And then Bekah poos again!
Finally our room is ready. As I am gettting my room key/card Bekah sprints out the door towards parking lot, so I sprint after her. Michael says, "That's funny!" and is cracking up. I yell," That is not funny!", as I drag poopy Bekah back in. The staff behind the counter are trying not to laugh. They give me a room on the second floor as far from the elevator as possible but the girl offers to help once I bring my van around back. So I load them all up again and drive to back door and unload a diaper bag, duffel bag, suitcase, porta crib, my boppy, Jacob in his portable car seat and 1 hyper toddler and 1 poopy toddler who is an hour past her naptime.
I get a luggage cart, load everything but the kids and push that with one hand, while holding Jake with the other hand and screaming at Mike and Bekah to get on the elevator. No staff showed up to help and I couldn't abandon the kids to go get them. When we got to the second floor the nicest guy in the world pushed the cart for me while I herded the monkeys to our room. The guy has a 4.5 month old and informed me they are only having one kid. He probably made that decision right then. When we get to the room I am dripping sweat. I turn on the t.v. for Mike and change Bekah who now has poop soaked shorts, gross! In the worst case of passive-aggressivness I walked all the way back to the elevator and disposed of the diaper in the garbage can for everyone to enjoy.
They did provide a crib so I actually put Bekah in there attempting nap.........that didn't work. But it gave me time to set up the other porta crib and send out some emails and make some phone calls. In that 45 minutes I realized this room even though it has a kitchenette and a seperate bedroom is way too small and is not going to work for 5 nights!! So I load up kids again and take them to P3 Party Place. They love it there so I get no problems from Mike and Bekah. Right next door is the Residence Inn so I go in there and give them my sob story and turns out they have a 2 bedroom place, with free bfast and a pool for only $10 more than the place I am at now! So I signed us up for that for Friday night. Now that I am a little calmer I also remember that my SIL is going camping Sat. morning. So I call her and hook up her house for Sat. and Sun. night. We will figure out Monday when we get there. I go home for some stuff I forgot and to the grocery store for some basic provisions like beer and ice cream.
I go back and get kids and come back to hotel. Repeat process from before but now with groceries. This time another gentleman holds doors for me and the elevator. Mike gets in and pushes all buttons and the man says it's a good thing there isn't 20 floors! Back in the room the kids smear mac and cheese and ice cream everywhere and now the carpet in here looks like my kitchen floor. We did our usual bedtime routine to make life as calm as possible but Mike and Bekah still cried for 30 minutes before passing out. When they finally fell asleep we could put Jake in there with them and now Erik and I are out here in the "living room" watching football and drinking beer. Michael gets this huge cozy king bed to himself and Erik and I get a sofa bed. But I didn't want Mike sleeping out here with a stove! I would rather have him flush things down the toilet than set things on fire.
Wish me luck,
Charlotte
We had put our first house on the market and Mike had just turned 3, Bekah was barely 20 months old, and Jake was 5 months old. So below was one of the adventures we had in preparing our house to sell.
Hey Everyone,
This might be long sorry. Today was really crazy. Last week we had an inspection report on our house and they found a leak under our kitchen. So today we get a plumber and he finds, gray water and food debris and some fungus. So now they need a clean-up crew to clean up under the house before they can fix the leak and a general contractor to come out and rip up some cabinets and maybe even some kitchen floor.
Here is the clincher to make sure the fungus doesn't spread we need to turn off our a.c. and cover all of the vents and this is all going to take about 5 days. And the guy said that it's not good for small children or the elderly to breathe so we need to leave!!!! So I had to pack up all my monkeys and ship out. Erik came home from work to feed the kids so I could pack everything. I called Sierra Suites and ask them if they have corporate rates for local businesses and since Erik sees paitients at San Ramon Regional I get a $100. knocked off the room rate.
As soon as Erik leaves both Michael and Bekah poo. So I changed them and load everyone in their carseats and blast the van a.c. and gas the light goes on empty. Luckily there is a gas station right next to the hotel. After I fill up I pull right up to the lobby doors and unload and usher all 3 inside the lobby. Three twenty-somethings are loafing behind the counter and tell me the room will be ready in 15 min. Of course Michael and Bekah are starting to explore the whole lobby. Luckily they had a t.v. in the lobby so I turned on cartoons. Jake starts to get mad so now I have to whip out my boob in the lobby and feed him. And then Bekah poos again!
Finally our room is ready. As I am gettting my room key/card Bekah sprints out the door towards parking lot, so I sprint after her. Michael says, "That's funny!" and is cracking up. I yell," That is not funny!", as I drag poopy Bekah back in. The staff behind the counter are trying not to laugh. They give me a room on the second floor as far from the elevator as possible but the girl offers to help once I bring my van around back. So I load them all up again and drive to back door and unload a diaper bag, duffel bag, suitcase, porta crib, my boppy, Jacob in his portable car seat and 1 hyper toddler and 1 poopy toddler who is an hour past her naptime.
I get a luggage cart, load everything but the kids and push that with one hand, while holding Jake with the other hand and screaming at Mike and Bekah to get on the elevator. No staff showed up to help and I couldn't abandon the kids to go get them. When we got to the second floor the nicest guy in the world pushed the cart for me while I herded the monkeys to our room. The guy has a 4.5 month old and informed me they are only having one kid. He probably made that decision right then. When we get to the room I am dripping sweat. I turn on the t.v. for Mike and change Bekah who now has poop soaked shorts, gross! In the worst case of passive-aggressivness I walked all the way back to the elevator and disposed of the diaper in the garbage can for everyone to enjoy.
They did provide a crib so I actually put Bekah in there attempting nap.........that didn't work. But it gave me time to set up the other porta crib and send out some emails and make some phone calls. In that 45 minutes I realized this room even though it has a kitchenette and a seperate bedroom is way too small and is not going to work for 5 nights!! So I load up kids again and take them to P3 Party Place. They love it there so I get no problems from Mike and Bekah. Right next door is the Residence Inn so I go in there and give them my sob story and turns out they have a 2 bedroom place, with free bfast and a pool for only $10 more than the place I am at now! So I signed us up for that for Friday night. Now that I am a little calmer I also remember that my SIL is going camping Sat. morning. So I call her and hook up her house for Sat. and Sun. night. We will figure out Monday when we get there. I go home for some stuff I forgot and to the grocery store for some basic provisions like beer and ice cream.
I go back and get kids and come back to hotel. Repeat process from before but now with groceries. This time another gentleman holds doors for me and the elevator. Mike gets in and pushes all buttons and the man says it's a good thing there isn't 20 floors! Back in the room the kids smear mac and cheese and ice cream everywhere and now the carpet in here looks like my kitchen floor. We did our usual bedtime routine to make life as calm as possible but Mike and Bekah still cried for 30 minutes before passing out. When they finally fell asleep we could put Jake in there with them and now Erik and I are out here in the "living room" watching football and drinking beer. Michael gets this huge cozy king bed to himself and Erik and I get a sofa bed. But I didn't want Mike sleeping out here with a stove! I would rather have him flush things down the toilet than set things on fire.
Wish me luck,
Charlotte
One Minute Writer
I am going to be on alot today because I am getting up to deal with the kids and then sitting back on the couch. Poor Bekah barfed on the rug in the rec. room so I am not the only one feeling yucky. Then she turns around 5 minutes later and asks for a snack! So what do you do? As an adult if I am feeling hungry but nauseous then I limit what I eat because I know the consequences. But that's so hard to explain to an almost 3 year old. So I gave her little bits and I am watching her like a hawk. I can wash the rug but the carpet and everything else isn't as fun to wash.
So I was messing around online and found this blog called One Minute Writer. The owner picks a topic and you write for one minute. Today's topic is embarrassing moments and below is what I wrote about.
My friend and I had just finished enjoying margaritas in Capitola and decided to try on bikinis. We were side-by-side in dressing rooms and after I stripped down ,I got a great idea that I would reach under the wall and scare her. Well I squatted down naked and grabbed her ankle. Just then the sales clerk, with a customer, ripped back the curtain forgetting I was in there and exposed me. I was so embarassed, and they were shocked that I was naked and grabbing my friend's leg. My friend was laughing but I was mortified.
So I was messing around online and found this blog called One Minute Writer. The owner picks a topic and you write for one minute. Today's topic is embarrassing moments and below is what I wrote about.
My friend and I had just finished enjoying margaritas in Capitola and decided to try on bikinis. We were side-by-side in dressing rooms and after I stripped down ,I got a great idea that I would reach under the wall and scare her. Well I squatted down naked and grabbed her ankle. Just then the sales clerk, with a customer, ripped back the curtain forgetting I was in there and exposed me. I was so embarassed, and they were shocked that I was naked and grabbing my friend's leg. My friend was laughing but I was mortified.
Sick Sunday
I totally feel like crap today. I have a headache, sinus pain, runny nose, sore throat, nausea and some bowel issues I really don't want to talk about. Moms are not supposed to get sick.
My husband was awesome and let me sleep in until 9:20a! That's like 3p before having kids. Then I let him go back to bed so he can sleep in a little. Usually on Sundays I am on the fast track to get to the gym but I just barely got the kids dressed, changed a couple of diapers, started a load of laundry and ran the dishwasher. That's nothing compared to my usual workload. It's now 11a and it doesn't look like Erik is getting up anytime soon but I am too nauseous to feed them lunch, I could barely feed them snack.
They know something is up and they are extra cuddly. I was trying to change Jake's poopy diaper and both Mike and Bekah wanted to sit on my lap. Kind of challenging to reach around them and wipe Jake's butt.
Yesterday we went to my Dad's in Sacramento for our Thanksgiving feast. There was no traffic and Jake and Bekah both napped on the way up. Mike stayed wide awake and asked every 5 minutes where we were, or are we there. And then he would say this is taking forever.
Once we got there he was thrilled to play with all his cousins. Jake brought his giant stuffed sheep named Sheepy-Sheepy with him. He then proceeded to hump it. Not a big deal but there was some new significant others there for the first time, Welome to the family. My step-sis-in-law, who has worked as a preschool teacher forever, said "Wow every year we have at least one girl who humps a stuffed animal at naptime but I have never seen a boy do it.". Jake is my special little boy.
My dad beat me at Scrabble and Mike ate nothing but pie and bread. The ride home was peaceful with Mike falling asleep in mid-sentence and we successfully transferred them to bed without waking them. That's when my stomach started to hurt and I have been hating it ever since.
I have to pull it together by tommorrow because there is multiple Thanksgiving parties at preschool, Mike is spending the night at Merrill's, my mom is spending the night here on Wed. and Thanksgiving proper is going to be at Merrill's house and I am in charge of the stuffing.
Send positive healing energies towards me.
My husband was awesome and let me sleep in until 9:20a! That's like 3p before having kids. Then I let him go back to bed so he can sleep in a little. Usually on Sundays I am on the fast track to get to the gym but I just barely got the kids dressed, changed a couple of diapers, started a load of laundry and ran the dishwasher. That's nothing compared to my usual workload. It's now 11a and it doesn't look like Erik is getting up anytime soon but I am too nauseous to feed them lunch, I could barely feed them snack.
They know something is up and they are extra cuddly. I was trying to change Jake's poopy diaper and both Mike and Bekah wanted to sit on my lap. Kind of challenging to reach around them and wipe Jake's butt.
Yesterday we went to my Dad's in Sacramento for our Thanksgiving feast. There was no traffic and Jake and Bekah both napped on the way up. Mike stayed wide awake and asked every 5 minutes where we were, or are we there. And then he would say this is taking forever.
Once we got there he was thrilled to play with all his cousins. Jake brought his giant stuffed sheep named Sheepy-Sheepy with him. He then proceeded to hump it. Not a big deal but there was some new significant others there for the first time, Welome to the family. My step-sis-in-law, who has worked as a preschool teacher forever, said "Wow every year we have at least one girl who humps a stuffed animal at naptime but I have never seen a boy do it.". Jake is my special little boy.
My dad beat me at Scrabble and Mike ate nothing but pie and bread. The ride home was peaceful with Mike falling asleep in mid-sentence and we successfully transferred them to bed without waking them. That's when my stomach started to hurt and I have been hating it ever since.
I have to pull it together by tommorrow because there is multiple Thanksgiving parties at preschool, Mike is spending the night at Merrill's, my mom is spending the night here on Wed. and Thanksgiving proper is going to be at Merrill's house and I am in charge of the stuffing.
Send positive healing energies towards me.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Got Nothing To Say
So all day I am dying to know what happened last night at the mom's night out for that mom's club I never belonged to. Nothing. I finally hooked up with some friends tonight that were there last night and they gave me nothing. I guess the grill was really smoky so their hair and purses smelled really greasy but that's it. Boring!
The only remotely interesting thing that happened was that chick that was in charge of the get out and hate Charlotte campaign did contact a guest from last night to lament the fact that people sat at 2 different tables and wanted to reassure my friend that nobody was talking about the incident. My friend was like ok whatever. I happened to know, before having to quit that other mom's club that I never belonged to, that that particular restaurant is situated so that you have to sit at 2 different tables. It wasn't snobbery, it was poor architecture.
I don't think that I have mentioned here that I now belong to an entirely new mom's club. It was the idea of 2 dear friends and they let me join because I was without a mom's club. The premise is that to join you cannot be easily offended. So we have a screening process. If you don't mind talking about sex, vaginas, politics and poop then you are in. I am not publishing the name here though just in case a member of the old mom's club wants to do a drive-by.
The word is out because some of the cool chicks from the old mom's club have either jumped ship or have dual membership. Now we are having to deal with do we invite chicks who we aren't sure of their offendability?! Lame.
The only remotely interesting thing that happened was that chick that was in charge of the get out and hate Charlotte campaign did contact a guest from last night to lament the fact that people sat at 2 different tables and wanted to reassure my friend that nobody was talking about the incident. My friend was like ok whatever. I happened to know, before having to quit that other mom's club that I never belonged to, that that particular restaurant is situated so that you have to sit at 2 different tables. It wasn't snobbery, it was poor architecture.
I don't think that I have mentioned here that I now belong to an entirely new mom's club. It was the idea of 2 dear friends and they let me join because I was without a mom's club. The premise is that to join you cannot be easily offended. So we have a screening process. If you don't mind talking about sex, vaginas, politics and poop then you are in. I am not publishing the name here though just in case a member of the old mom's club wants to do a drive-by.
The word is out because some of the cool chicks from the old mom's club have either jumped ship or have dual membership. Now we are having to deal with do we invite chicks who we aren't sure of their offendability?! Lame.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Oh To Be A Fly On The Wall In Livermore
This evening is a mom's night out for a mom's club I was never a member of and never had to quit because of my big mouth. If I didn't have such a big mouth I would be there right now, enjoying fondue, but now I am at home writhing on my couch dying of curiousity.
Is anyone talking shit about me? Which one of my friends will be the first one to stick up for me? Will there be a catfight where someone's shirt gets ripped off and their boob flops out of their bra? And if that happens will somebody be smart enough to film it on their iPhone and upload it on Youtube? This is fucking killing me.
Most of the chicks at this restaurant in Livermore this evening are my friends, a handfull are not. And a couple of them need to have their fondue pot pissed in by me. Dip your bread chunk in that bitch.
Sigh............ok I feel a little better. Somebody better send me an email tommorrow with an update. Even if it's all civil and boring I want to know about it.
Is anyone talking shit about me? Which one of my friends will be the first one to stick up for me? Will there be a catfight where someone's shirt gets ripped off and their boob flops out of their bra? And if that happens will somebody be smart enough to film it on their iPhone and upload it on Youtube? This is fucking killing me.
Most of the chicks at this restaurant in Livermore this evening are my friends, a handfull are not. And a couple of them need to have their fondue pot pissed in by me. Dip your bread chunk in that bitch.
Sigh............ok I feel a little better. Somebody better send me an email tommorrow with an update. Even if it's all civil and boring I want to know about it.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Busy Weekend!
Last weekend was insanely busy but fun! Friday night Erik took Mike and Bekah to Mtn. Mike's Pizza for a Haley birthday party, while I stayed home with Jake. Jake tends to run into the kitchen at Mtn. Mike's so it's better for him to stay with mommy. Besides he has a snotty nose and a random rash on his belly.
Neither one of those issues are slowing Jake down at all but obviously I can't take him to the gym like that. So Saturday morning Erik takes Mike and Bekah to the gym and then to Chuck E. Cheese for another birthday party. I got Jake to take a giant nap and I did a ton of cleaning and laundry. When they all get home we load up and go to Chris and Merrill's new house for their housewarming party. Great party and the kids are having a blast. Jake did manage to take the ball out of the dog's mouth and then stuck it into some spinach dip and then licked the spinach dip off the ball. So gross! I tossed the dip in the trash and apologized profusely to the women sitting on the couch witnessing it.
We left Mike there and took an exhausted Bekah and Jake home. Erik went back and picked Mike up later and he didn't get to bed until almost 10p! He had so much fun though and was not whiny or anything.
The next day me and Jake stayed home again while everyone else went to the gym and I finished cleaning and started cooking. It was Nana Jan's 60th birthday party! We went for a kitty cat theme and put some diamond earrings into the ears of a stuffed cat toy. Very cute and she was happy. We also had a yummy cat cake and with having to skip the gym lately I am going to get fat again!
So today Erik and I were both exhausted but we had a fun weekend. The kids are hungover too.
Neither one of those issues are slowing Jake down at all but obviously I can't take him to the gym like that. So Saturday morning Erik takes Mike and Bekah to the gym and then to Chuck E. Cheese for another birthday party. I got Jake to take a giant nap and I did a ton of cleaning and laundry. When they all get home we load up and go to Chris and Merrill's new house for their housewarming party. Great party and the kids are having a blast. Jake did manage to take the ball out of the dog's mouth and then stuck it into some spinach dip and then licked the spinach dip off the ball. So gross! I tossed the dip in the trash and apologized profusely to the women sitting on the couch witnessing it.
We left Mike there and took an exhausted Bekah and Jake home. Erik went back and picked Mike up later and he didn't get to bed until almost 10p! He had so much fun though and was not whiny or anything.
The next day me and Jake stayed home again while everyone else went to the gym and I finished cleaning and started cooking. It was Nana Jan's 60th birthday party! We went for a kitty cat theme and put some diamond earrings into the ears of a stuffed cat toy. Very cute and she was happy. We also had a yummy cat cake and with having to skip the gym lately I am going to get fat again!
So today Erik and I were both exhausted but we had a fun weekend. The kids are hungover too.
Conversations With a 4 year old
"Mom where are we going after we take Bekah to preschool?"
"The bank, Target and then home."
"Mom"
"What?"
"I have an idea, let's go the Kid's Discovery Museum!"
"Honey that's in San Jose and too far to go today because you have school later."
"But mooooom...."
"Mike stop whining!"
"Ok but we should go to the museum because it's not foggy."
Pause while I think what the hell fog has anything to do with going to the Children's Discovery Museum.
"You are right, it's not foggy but we aren't going today."
"Where are we going?"
"I just told you!"
"Can we go to the bank with lollypops?"
"Yes"
We go to bank, get lollypops, deposit check and drive to Target.
"Why are we going to Target?"
"To get medicine"
"Why?"
"Because mommy and daddy are old and old people take medicine."
Once we get to the pharmacy Mike runs to the counter and yells "Hey is anybody here?"
"Michael! We have to wait our turn in line."
"Mom"
"What?"
"Can I have a toy?"
"No"
"Whyyyyyy?"
"Mike stop whining!"
"I am good why can't I have a toy?"
"Auntie Merrill just bought you a toy and Hanukkah is coming and you will get a ton of toys."
"Mom"
"What?"
"Can I have a treat?"
"You just had a lollypop!"
"They have a Starbucks here"
Damn he's got me on that one, I need coffee bad.
"Ok if you are really good and don't run off, you and Jake can have a vanilla milk."
So we go look at Xmas trees while waiting for my prescription.
Very loudly, "We don't do Christmas because we are Jews!"
"That's right, but the trees are pretty."
We get our beverages and then go look at toys.
"Mom I want this for Hanukkah!" Repeats this 100 times at top of his lungs.
"Mom I haven't played with one of these in ages!"
"In ages? You are only 4"
"Mom I don't have a fishing pole."
"That's because we don't go fishing."
"We could go fishing."
"Yes someday we might go fishing and then you would need a pole, but not today."
We leave Target.
"Mom"
"What?"
"I have an idea, let's go to the park."
"Actually that's a really good idea, let's go. "
One hour later.
"Michael it's time to go honey you have to eat lunch and then go to school."
"Moooooom"
"Mike stop whining!"
"Ok 40 more minutes"
"How about 2 more minutes?"
"Mom I am having fun here"
"Me too but we have to go."
We get in van.
"Can we get Happy Meals?"
"No."
"Whyyyy?"
"Mike stop whining!"
"I love Happy Meals"
"You never eat your Happy Meal! You just play with the toy!"
"Where are we going after preschool?"
"Nowhere"
"Who is coming over tonight?"
"Nobody"
"But I love Auntie Merrill, I miss her!"
"You just saw her last night honey, she is busy today."
"Where is Oliver?"
"I don't know."
"But I miss Oliver and I want to have a sleepover tonight".
"You can't have a sleepover on a school night"
"I want to go out to dinner tonight with Daddy."
"Mike stop whining! We are not going out to lunch or dinner or having a sleepover. Not every day is a party honey. We had a long weekend and had fun and we need to relax tonight."
"Mom"
"What?"
"I love you"
"I love you too buddy. You are a very sweet boy and you make me laugh."
"The bank, Target and then home."
"Mom"
"What?"
"I have an idea, let's go the Kid's Discovery Museum!"
"Honey that's in San Jose and too far to go today because you have school later."
"But mooooom...."
"Mike stop whining!"
"Ok but we should go to the museum because it's not foggy."
Pause while I think what the hell fog has anything to do with going to the Children's Discovery Museum.
"You are right, it's not foggy but we aren't going today."
"Where are we going?"
"I just told you!"
"Can we go to the bank with lollypops?"
"Yes"
We go to bank, get lollypops, deposit check and drive to Target.
"Why are we going to Target?"
"To get medicine"
"Why?"
"Because mommy and daddy are old and old people take medicine."
Once we get to the pharmacy Mike runs to the counter and yells "Hey is anybody here?"
"Michael! We have to wait our turn in line."
"Mom"
"What?"
"Can I have a toy?"
"No"
"Whyyyyyy?"
"Mike stop whining!"
"I am good why can't I have a toy?"
"Auntie Merrill just bought you a toy and Hanukkah is coming and you will get a ton of toys."
"Mom"
"What?"
"Can I have a treat?"
"You just had a lollypop!"
"They have a Starbucks here"
Damn he's got me on that one, I need coffee bad.
"Ok if you are really good and don't run off, you and Jake can have a vanilla milk."
So we go look at Xmas trees while waiting for my prescription.
Very loudly, "We don't do Christmas because we are Jews!"
"That's right, but the trees are pretty."
We get our beverages and then go look at toys.
"Mom I want this for Hanukkah!" Repeats this 100 times at top of his lungs.
"Mom I haven't played with one of these in ages!"
"In ages? You are only 4"
"Mom I don't have a fishing pole."
"That's because we don't go fishing."
"We could go fishing."
"Yes someday we might go fishing and then you would need a pole, but not today."
We leave Target.
"Mom"
"What?"
"I have an idea, let's go to the park."
"Actually that's a really good idea, let's go. "
One hour later.
"Michael it's time to go honey you have to eat lunch and then go to school."
"Moooooom"
"Mike stop whining!"
"Ok 40 more minutes"
"How about 2 more minutes?"
"Mom I am having fun here"
"Me too but we have to go."
We get in van.
"Can we get Happy Meals?"
"No."
"Whyyyy?"
"Mike stop whining!"
"I love Happy Meals"
"You never eat your Happy Meal! You just play with the toy!"
"Where are we going after preschool?"
"Nowhere"
"Who is coming over tonight?"
"Nobody"
"But I love Auntie Merrill, I miss her!"
"You just saw her last night honey, she is busy today."
"Where is Oliver?"
"I don't know."
"But I miss Oliver and I want to have a sleepover tonight".
"You can't have a sleepover on a school night"
"I want to go out to dinner tonight with Daddy."
"Mike stop whining! We are not going out to lunch or dinner or having a sleepover. Not every day is a party honey. We had a long weekend and had fun and we need to relax tonight."
"Mom"
"What?"
"I love you"
"I love you too buddy. You are a very sweet boy and you make me laugh."
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Must Clean Kitchen
Ugh I sat down to eat a sandwich and now I really don't want to get up. Jake was up at 5:30a again so Erik let me sleep alone in the bed until 7:30a and then I let Erik nap until almost 9a. And I still want to go back to bed, I am soooo tired.
But I need to rally while Jake is napping and Erik has Mike and Bekah. I need to bust a move in my dirty house and filthy kitchen. After naptime we are going to Merrill and Chris's housewarming and tommorrow we are having Nana Jan's 60th birthday here so I need to clean now.
Ok one more thing. Some friends of friends may be splitting up. I know these people just peripherally but it still makes me super sad. Makes me appreciate my husband so much more. I just can't imagine leaving him or him leaving me. And with kids involved it's just too depressing and incomprehensible to me.
Makes me want to send Erik flowers and candy.
But I need to rally while Jake is napping and Erik has Mike and Bekah. I need to bust a move in my dirty house and filthy kitchen. After naptime we are going to Merrill and Chris's housewarming and tommorrow we are having Nana Jan's 60th birthday here so I need to clean now.
Ok one more thing. Some friends of friends may be splitting up. I know these people just peripherally but it still makes me super sad. Makes me appreciate my husband so much more. I just can't imagine leaving him or him leaving me. And with kids involved it's just too depressing and incomprehensible to me.
Makes me want to send Erik flowers and candy.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Blogging Nerdiness
Oh readers, or friends if we are missing John McCain, I have to report on some blogging. I have a follower. I have not an idea what that means. I won't pretend that I am technically savvy, it took me forever to find the comments on my blog. I had several month's worth of comments before I found them, duh.
But now I have a follower, a fellow blogger, another mother like me. I am averaging over 20 readers a day, and a handfull of them I don't know. But an out there in the public follower is pretty cool.
Party on,
Charlotte
But now I have a follower, a fellow blogger, another mother like me. I am averaging over 20 readers a day, and a handfull of them I don't know. But an out there in the public follower is pretty cool.
Party on,
Charlotte
Binkie Addiction
Michael is 4 years old and is way too old for a binkie (pacifier) but he mugs his younger brother Jake in the middle of the night and steals binkies from his crib. He is really sneaky about it too and we rarely catch him in the act but this morning he comes barging in my room and yells, "Mom, Bekah stole my binkie!". I just looked at him and said, "Did you just tell on yourself?". He blushed and said, "Yes.". We all laughed at him.
Can you imagine calling the cops and yelling "Hey somebody stole my weed!". You just aren't going to get very far with that.
Can you imagine calling the cops and yelling "Hey somebody stole my weed!". You just aren't going to get very far with that.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Not My 20th High School Reunion
Ok so the guy whose package was on display may or may not be in this picture. I ain't saying. Nobody's package is on display in this picture. 
I should have asked another person to take pictures of us and to take more than just one. We looked cute but only my husband looks cute in this picture. My eyes are half-closed. Thanks Merrill for the cute dress and necklace and purse. So great to have another closet to raid, too bad we don't wear the same size shoes. 
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Husband's 20th High School Reunion
Last night Erik and I traveled 15 minutes to Walnut Creek to attend his 20th high school reunion. He graduated in 1988 from Northgate High School in Walnut Creek. It was being held at the Marriott in Walnut Creek and we stayed the night there and it was bliss not waking up to multiple mammals in our bed.
I didn't know anyone except Erik but by the end of the night I had met some nice people. Erik was tripping out on seeing some people and they were feeling the same. 20 years is a long time. The party moved into the bar and that's when things got really fun. One guy was wasted and his shirt was untucked and his penis was hanging out. Classy. He also stuck his hand up a woman's skirt when she almost fell over. She was drunk too. That was highly entertaining.
Then I was talking to one of Erik's classmates, a gorgeous 6 ft. 3 in. woman, and this party crasher walks up to us. It was obvious because he starts saying oh yeah I am so-and-so's cousin by marriage and he is having an after party want to come. And I am like I talked to your cousin earlier this evening and he didn't mention you were going to stop by how interesting, what year did you graduate. And he says 1967!!! We started cracking up and he left. What an idiot!!
The D.J. also didn't seem to realize when 1988 was because he put on the song Hotel California by The Eagles and yells, "Hey everybody where were you when you first heard this song?". Uhm first grade?
Now I am actually getting excited for mine. Del Mar Class of 1989. Woo Hoo!
I didn't know anyone except Erik but by the end of the night I had met some nice people. Erik was tripping out on seeing some people and they were feeling the same. 20 years is a long time. The party moved into the bar and that's when things got really fun. One guy was wasted and his shirt was untucked and his penis was hanging out. Classy. He also stuck his hand up a woman's skirt when she almost fell over. She was drunk too. That was highly entertaining.
Then I was talking to one of Erik's classmates, a gorgeous 6 ft. 3 in. woman, and this party crasher walks up to us. It was obvious because he starts saying oh yeah I am so-and-so's cousin by marriage and he is having an after party want to come. And I am like I talked to your cousin earlier this evening and he didn't mention you were going to stop by how interesting, what year did you graduate. And he says 1967!!! We started cracking up and he left. What an idiot!!
The D.J. also didn't seem to realize when 1988 was because he put on the song Hotel California by The Eagles and yells, "Hey everybody where were you when you first heard this song?". Uhm first grade?
Now I am actually getting excited for mine. Del Mar Class of 1989. Woo Hoo!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Feels the same.
So I woke up today thinking I was going to feel different because we have a black president but nope same old shit. Kind of like when you lose your virginity and you certainly don't feel more wise and womanly the next day.
The day started with way too many mammals in my bed, at a way too early time in the morning, and Bekah fell into the toilet which scared her to death and will delay potty training for another week. Jake had two poops so bad I had to change his clothes both times and it involved carpet cleaning, opening the windows and after the third time I washed my hands I still felt unclean and wanted to take a shower. I was tired and there was a ton of laundry to do and I ate too much Halloween candy.
I put on The View this morning to see if Elizabeth Hasselback (sp?) would show up and she was there and nobody beat her up. That was a little dissappointing. If I was on The View I would have got in her face and told her to, "Suck it!". That's probably why I am not on The View. And that's definitely why Rosie is not on The View anymore. Whoopie outclasses Rosie O'Donnell. There is no way she would have been able to keep her mouth shut today, that would have been awesome! Oh well.
The day started with way too many mammals in my bed, at a way too early time in the morning, and Bekah fell into the toilet which scared her to death and will delay potty training for another week. Jake had two poops so bad I had to change his clothes both times and it involved carpet cleaning, opening the windows and after the third time I washed my hands I still felt unclean and wanted to take a shower. I was tired and there was a ton of laundry to do and I ate too much Halloween candy.
I put on The View this morning to see if Elizabeth Hasselback (sp?) would show up and she was there and nobody beat her up. That was a little dissappointing. If I was on The View I would have got in her face and told her to, "Suck it!". That's probably why I am not on The View. And that's definitely why Rosie is not on The View anymore. Whoopie outclasses Rosie O'Donnell. There is no way she would have been able to keep her mouth shut today, that would have been awesome! Oh well.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Wow it happened!
We have a good man for president and he happens to be black. And we have a strong woman for our first lady and she happens to be black. And we have young children in our white house. These are people I can relate to. These are people I can trust. Ok yes I am a blubbering idiot.
And if asshole Bush got re-elected then you know Obama can too, which means we are going to have a good president for 8 years. Yippee!
Never, ever in my lifetime did I think a black man would be president. Honestly before Barack Obama I never thought about it at all.
And if asshole Bush got re-elected then you know Obama can too, which means we are going to have a good president for 8 years. Yippee!
Never, ever in my lifetime did I think a black man would be president. Honestly before Barack Obama I never thought about it at all.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Tommorrow is the Day!
Don't forget to vote tommorrow. Let's all channel Obama's Grandma. Her name is Madelyne if you need a name to pray with. Yes I am going to get all cosmic and spiritual on your ass for a second. Look this is important, not just for our country but for our planet and our planet is ruled by other planets etc. etc.
Dear Madelyne must have passed today for a reason. Her beloved Grandson may or may not be voted into the next presidency tommorrow. Now we have all heard stories, whether it be Hollywood or personal, where a sick and elderly person held on to life to complete a mission. Both Johnny Cash and Ray Charles died right before the stories of their lives hit the big screens but they had both worked on perfecting their story so the truth came out. Once they knew that was going to happen they were able to leave this planet in peace. Maybe Madelyne knew that her legacy would continue with her grandson, and she was able to leave in peace. So it's our responsiblity to make sure that happens.
Ok I will stop.
So earlier today I passed out door hangers for local Democrats with Mike and Jake. I probably broke some child labor laws but it's for a good cause. Actually they sent us out into a neighborhood in Walnut Creek where only half the streets had sidewalks, so only half the stuff got hung up because I wasn't risking my children's lives. This election is important but not that important.
Earlier this evening our friend called to talk to Erik and started asking about me and the recent drama. I was shocked realizing that a guy friend had heard about this mama drama and actually called my husband to ask about it. And of course Erik was telling him his version of events which is wrong and then joking about living with a social pariah and leper colonies etc. etc. Meanwhile I am convulsing in the corner begging for the phone. I finally get it and set the record somewhat straight, I won't lie, I can do positive spin. One of his co-workers is a member of that mom's club and mentioned some of what was going on, that's how a random guy found out. Turns out she is on my side so that was comforting. San Ramon is a small town.
Vote for Obama.
Dear Madelyne must have passed today for a reason. Her beloved Grandson may or may not be voted into the next presidency tommorrow. Now we have all heard stories, whether it be Hollywood or personal, where a sick and elderly person held on to life to complete a mission. Both Johnny Cash and Ray Charles died right before the stories of their lives hit the big screens but they had both worked on perfecting their story so the truth came out. Once they knew that was going to happen they were able to leave this planet in peace. Maybe Madelyne knew that her legacy would continue with her grandson, and she was able to leave in peace. So it's our responsiblity to make sure that happens.
Ok I will stop.
So earlier today I passed out door hangers for local Democrats with Mike and Jake. I probably broke some child labor laws but it's for a good cause. Actually they sent us out into a neighborhood in Walnut Creek where only half the streets had sidewalks, so only half the stuff got hung up because I wasn't risking my children's lives. This election is important but not that important.
Earlier this evening our friend called to talk to Erik and started asking about me and the recent drama. I was shocked realizing that a guy friend had heard about this mama drama and actually called my husband to ask about it. And of course Erik was telling him his version of events which is wrong and then joking about living with a social pariah and leper colonies etc. etc. Meanwhile I am convulsing in the corner begging for the phone. I finally get it and set the record somewhat straight, I won't lie, I can do positive spin. One of his co-workers is a member of that mom's club and mentioned some of what was going on, that's how a random guy found out. Turns out she is on my side so that was comforting. San Ramon is a small town.
Vote for Obama.
Obama's Grandma
How sad his grandma died! The grandmother that was hugely responsible for his upbringing died today.
I don't care who you support for president that is sad. I mean if you were running for president and your beloved grandmother or mother died the day before you were to be voted into office.............how sad.
Oh yeah and that other mom's club in San Ramon that I never belonged to, has to now come up with a code of conduct. That would be funny if I didn't really like the president of that mom's club that I never belonged to.
I don't care who you support for president that is sad. I mean if you were running for president and your beloved grandmother or mother died the day before you were to be voted into office.............how sad.
Oh yeah and that other mom's club in San Ramon that I never belonged to, has to now come up with a code of conduct. That would be funny if I didn't really like the president of that mom's club that I never belonged to.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sunday Afternoon
Well usually I check email during naptime but my inbox hasn't been this empty since the early '9o's. The advantages of being a social pariah.
I took Jake grocery shopping and what should have been a short trip was really long. But I didn't mind. Jake managed to say,"Hi", to every single person in Safeway. And since he has a big smile,big dimples, big brown eyes and big blonde curls, every single person said, "Hi", back. Even when I was loading the groceries into the trunk of Erik's car a couple driving by rolled down their window and said, "Good-bye", to Jake. He was extremely popular.
I even ran into my ex-boyfriend's mom, who loves me and is a very sweet person. Jake was adorable for her too and she filled me in on her family, including my ex-boyfriend's kids and wife. Very interesting.
This week is crazy busy. Monday I am handing out door hangers for Democrats and taking Jake and Mike with me since Bekah will be in school. Tuesday is the big day! I will be voting of course and taking my sitter Sarah to vote to make sure she does it. Then I will be meeting friends for lunch and then going to an election party at a friend's house. Wednesday I need to work-out and hopefully will not have to loot and riot. Looting and rioting will be mandatory if Obama loses. Thursday I need to get the gray covered. Friday is temple playgroup with Jake and then after that I need to get all my hangnails cut off because Erik's 20 year high school reunion is Saturday night in Walnut Creek. We are spending the night at the hotel so we can have a bed with no monkeys in it the next morning. I can't wait!!!!
I took Jake grocery shopping and what should have been a short trip was really long. But I didn't mind. Jake managed to say,"Hi", to every single person in Safeway. And since he has a big smile,big dimples, big brown eyes and big blonde curls, every single person said, "Hi", back. Even when I was loading the groceries into the trunk of Erik's car a couple driving by rolled down their window and said, "Good-bye", to Jake. He was extremely popular.
I even ran into my ex-boyfriend's mom, who loves me and is a very sweet person. Jake was adorable for her too and she filled me in on her family, including my ex-boyfriend's kids and wife. Very interesting.
This week is crazy busy. Monday I am handing out door hangers for Democrats and taking Jake and Mike with me since Bekah will be in school. Tuesday is the big day! I will be voting of course and taking my sitter Sarah to vote to make sure she does it. Then I will be meeting friends for lunch and then going to an election party at a friend's house. Wednesday I need to work-out and hopefully will not have to loot and riot. Looting and rioting will be mandatory if Obama loses. Thursday I need to get the gray covered. Friday is temple playgroup with Jake and then after that I need to get all my hangnails cut off because Erik's 20 year high school reunion is Saturday night in Walnut Creek. We are spending the night at the hotel so we can have a bed with no monkeys in it the next morning. I can't wait!!!!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Mud 2008
Honestly I thought it was illegal to rain Halloween weekend but what do I know. We need the rain so I can't complain. Mike and Bekah needed to exercise while Jake was napping. I just wish they hadn't gone up the hill and slid down in the mud. I swear I took 5 minutes to talk to Merrill and look what happens. Oh well they had fun.
Halloween 2008
This is the bull dog costume that Jake started the day off with. Then at a friend's house he promptly rolled in the mud and that was that.
Mike was a power ranger at the preschool parade.
Bekah as a pink pirate at the preschool parade.
All 3 monkeys on parade.
Jake's 2nd costume of the day. It is Mike's Spiderman from last year with the sleeves and legs rolled up. 
This pic was taken after they were done trick or treating. Watch the progression of Bekah as the sugar train hits her. They were so hungover today!
It's all about me, not you!
Last night I had a dream that I was in bookstore and found one of my old journals on a bookshelf. It doesn't take Freud to figure what that meant. My blog is my online journal that I let people look at. And even though this is my intellectual property if I put the names of real people in here I have to take responsibility for that.
A few times this week I have been asked to change some stuff on my blog. The first person to do so is a beloved friend. A rational, loving, kind and well-balanced person that I would take a bullet for with no hesitation. So I dropped everything I was doing and complied with her request.
Another person, quite unlike the person described above, also asked me to do so. No. I have also received a thinly veiled threat of a lawsuit.
I know, I know. You are thinking "What?! Really?! Are you shitting me?!" No I am not. Even though this blog was originally started as a creative outlet for me some people actually enjoy reading it. I am very flattered by that. But there are also some people who enjoy reading it so they can cause drama and strife.
Some people have started to read it because it's becoming a little bit like Jerry Springer and they think it's funny, I am ok with that too. I slow down on the freeway to look at car wrecks too. But some people are reading it because they are the type fo people who like to pick scabs and then get upset when they bleed.
So today instead of sweating off Halloween candy on the treadmill I am going through my entire blog and removing names. I am using my gym's free WiFi and day care because I am paranoid enough to believe this thinly veiled threat.
I am very angry about this. After today if you read a description of a person and you think it's about you, it's not. I know the old saying is if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck and looks like a duck then it must be a duck. When it comes to my blog that saying does not hold true. If I actually don't name it duck, then it's not a duck, it's a unicorn.
Even if you swear up and down the person I am describing is you, it's not. Even if you really want it to be you, it's not. Even if anywhere I go or groups I belong to sound familiar, they are not. It's a coincidence or a complete fabrication. This blog now exists in a identical twin parallel universe. And my universe is better than your's and crazy, psycho, drama queens are not welcome. Lawyers aren't welcome either. Unless I was already friends with them before today.
But if you are angry and just really, really have to say something to me about it. Don't email me, please feel free to leave a comment on my blog. That way everyone can share my joy. Save the drama for your mama and vote for Obama. That came from a friend but I can't put her name here anymore.
Remember it's all about me, not you!!!!!!
A few times this week I have been asked to change some stuff on my blog. The first person to do so is a beloved friend. A rational, loving, kind and well-balanced person that I would take a bullet for with no hesitation. So I dropped everything I was doing and complied with her request.
Another person, quite unlike the person described above, also asked me to do so. No. I have also received a thinly veiled threat of a lawsuit.
I know, I know. You are thinking "What?! Really?! Are you shitting me?!" No I am not. Even though this blog was originally started as a creative outlet for me some people actually enjoy reading it. I am very flattered by that. But there are also some people who enjoy reading it so they can cause drama and strife.
Some people have started to read it because it's becoming a little bit like Jerry Springer and they think it's funny, I am ok with that too. I slow down on the freeway to look at car wrecks too. But some people are reading it because they are the type fo people who like to pick scabs and then get upset when they bleed.
So today instead of sweating off Halloween candy on the treadmill I am going through my entire blog and removing names. I am using my gym's free WiFi and day care because I am paranoid enough to believe this thinly veiled threat.
I am very angry about this. After today if you read a description of a person and you think it's about you, it's not. I know the old saying is if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck and looks like a duck then it must be a duck. When it comes to my blog that saying does not hold true. If I actually don't name it duck, then it's not a duck, it's a unicorn.
Even if you swear up and down the person I am describing is you, it's not. Even if you really want it to be you, it's not. Even if anywhere I go or groups I belong to sound familiar, they are not. It's a coincidence or a complete fabrication. This blog now exists in a identical twin parallel universe. And my universe is better than your's and crazy, psycho, drama queens are not welcome. Lawyers aren't welcome either. Unless I was already friends with them before today.
But if you are angry and just really, really have to say something to me about it. Don't email me, please feel free to leave a comment on my blog. That way everyone can share my joy. Save the drama for your mama and vote for Obama. That came from a friend but I can't put her name here anymore.
Remember it's all about me, not you!!!!!!
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